“he just said he didn’t want it anymore” Ryan sighed, expressionless. His eyes hollow, soulless.
“He said he didn’t want to do it? just that?” Corazon exclaimed in disbelief, slamming her hands on the antique oak table, almost catching everyone’s attention in the French cafe they were seated in.
Ryan looked up and saw Corazon. Her face was bursting with rage yet her eyes reflected compassion and empathy. “Yes, just like that” He replied.
She reached for his hand and cupped it in hers trying to calm the storm underneath his untroubled aura “I’m sorry babe, you did not deserve that” she said.
But there was no storm; no tears to shed and no broken heart to piece together… only nothingness and barely healed wounds.
July 31, 12:38pm
“One day, we will live together forever and I will look after you in health and in sickness. I love you”
Under any circumstances, Ryan would have fallen in love with Joseph’s sweet ensemble of words but Gabriel, his great love, had already destroyed him. He knew that Joseph would leave just like the others. Ryan saved himself this time. He knew that he can never trust any man again.
“I’m okay, it’s just a scratch” Ryan whispered as he placed the turquoise porcelain tea cup on the saucer.
He yearned for long drives; looking for drive-thrus, taking car selfies and singing to pop songs, hearts bursting with laughter, hands held and fingers intertwined. He dreamed of warm and cozy nights; snuggled in bed, nestled in each other’s arms, glued on netflix while binge eating, his lover running his fingers through his hair as he gently planted kisses on his forehead. He fantasised getting drunk at a club with his other half, dancing foolishly at the center, eyes fixed at each other’s gaze as the crowd faded in the background. He envisioned trivial quarrels that blossomed into fierce love making, bodies naked and covered in kisses, minds blank and hearts full.
Corazon stood up to sit beside Ryan “look at me” She said as she wrapped her arm around him “I hope you find someone who will respect your feelings”.
But the fire in him has ebbed.
His heart grew cynical and callous. He refused to feel and open up again. Ryan retreated to an emotional fortress where no one can touch him again.
Thoughts A soft breeze wafts on my cheeks caressing me softly and lovingly and thoughts of you came racing soon upon my awakening Sin...
ANNABEL LEE -Edgar Allan Poe
It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE; And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea; But we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsman came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulcher In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven, Went envying her and me- Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love Of those who were older than we- Of many far wiser than we- And neither the angels in heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea, Can ever dissever my soul from the soul Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride, In the sepulcher there by the sea, In her tomb by the sounding sea.
I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, "to hell with you!" -Saul Bellow
From ate pinknote ;)
Kreativ Award from SUPERJAID
SPREAD THE LOVE AWARD -Amazing Grace
My very first award.
Galing kay kapatid na si Superjaid :)
“If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated? And if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation as well. Is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them? At the same time, I was also wondering, is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? That’s my loneliness.”