Monday, October 2, 2017

Memories in Love Song II

he just said he didn’t want it anymore” Ryan sighed, expressionless. His eyes hollow, soulless.
He said he didn’t want to do it? just that?” Corazon exclaimed in disbelief, slamming her hands on the antique oak table, almost catching everyone’s attention in the French cafe they were seated in.
Ryan looked up and saw Corazon. Her face was bursting with rage yet her eyes reflected compassion and empathy. “Yes, just like that” He replied.
She reached for his hand and cupped it in hers trying to calm the storm underneath his untroubled aura “I’m sorry babe, you did not deserve that” she said.
But there was no storm; no tears to shed and no broken heart to piece together… only nothingness and barely healed wounds.
July 31, 12:38pm
One day, we will live together forever and I will look after you in health and in sickness. I love you
Under any circumstances, Ryan would have fallen in love with Joseph’s sweet ensemble of words but Gabriel, his great love, had already destroyed him. He knew that Joseph would leave just like the others. Ryan saved himself this time. He knew that he can never trust any man again.
I’m okay, it’s just a scratch” Ryan whispered as he placed the turquoise porcelain tea cup on the saucer.
He yearned for long drives; looking for drive-thrus, taking car selfies and singing to pop songs, hearts bursting with laughter, hands held and fingers intertwined. He dreamed of warm and cozy nights; snuggled in bed, nestled in each other’s arms, glued on netflix while binge eating, his lover running his fingers through his hair as he gently planted kisses on his forehead. He fantasised getting drunk at a club with his other half, dancing foolishly at the center, eyes fixed at each other’s gaze as the crowd faded in the background. He envisioned trivial quarrels that blossomed into fierce love making, bodies naked and covered in kisses, minds blank and hearts full.
Corazon stood up to sit beside Ryan “look at me” She said as she wrapped her arm around him “I hope you find someone who will respect your feelings”.
But the fire in him has ebbed.
His heart grew cynical and callous. He refused to feel and open up again. Ryan retreated to an emotional fortress where no one can touch him again.
Yeah I guess” Ryan replied with a casual smirk.

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