Elay's escapades

A story to tell

2012-01-29T08:02:00.000-08:00

I know, I know, it's been weeks and my absence here in the blogsphere was a clear violation of my new year's resolution (to blog at least once a week). Aside from school kasi, I've been very busy teaching dance. Btw, this ain't one of my usual posts na seryoso, matalinhaga and stuff.

If you're a medtech student, you can definitely relate. There's this annual event where MT students gather for uhh pageant, seminar, singing and talent competitions (like a HS intramurals).

What pressured me the most was the fact that me and my team were informed about the dance contest 5 days before the event! I was like WTF?? 4 DAYS TO REHEARSE? MOTHER OF GOD (very 9gag lang).

Fuck! Our Lady of Fatima University (I know a couple of dancers from there) FEU MORAYTA (okay, mamamatay na ko, magaling lang tao don) I visited kasi the website where the list of contestants were shown, siyempre I had to check out the competition. If I'm not mistaken there were at least 15 contenders pero yung fatima and feu ang naretain ng memory ko, prolly because they're the ones na alam kong magaling talaga.

Here are my girls:

day 1

day 4

day 5, pizza muna habang hinihintay magstart ang competition

and then, after 2 hours of waiting, nakasayaw na sila.. and ang result..

2ND PLACE :)

sorry pero proud na proud lang ako. I mean, 2nd place in 4 days?? grabe! Ang mas grabe pa eh na cut yung music namin, the incompetent sound guy thought that I was kidding when I said "hihinto talaga yung music niyan sa bandang dulo".

Kung babalikan yung day 1 ng practice, wala silang SWAGUUH walang confidence tapos on the competition day mapapanuod mo sila na hinihiyawan ng mga tao, character kung character sa stage GAWD!! Sinong hindi magiging proud diba?

Being a choreographer really isn't all about the money. Watching your kids perform on stage and realizing that somehow you've been a significant part of their growth is priceless.

Here's the video pala. Thanks for reading folks! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2lF2bTK2FQ

What if?

2012-01-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

“’What’ and ‘if’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be, but put them together side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. -Letters to Juliet”

It was unreal, but it was happening

and he tried so hard to resist him and his charm

because he knew it was too good to be true

he was filled with longings

longings he buried in a deep abyss

longings he should have forgotten long ago

01.09.12

"I used to hate you so much" / I'm glad we're friends again

"I'm sorry"

"I really loved you" / seeing you now brings this familiar feeling

"..."

"Did you love me? Those sweet things you said, the appreciation, the love, the concern, were those real?"

He held a bottle of hot sauce

Oo, kasing init nito. Actually, dapat makikipagbreak na ako sa boyfriend ko, para sa'yo

"Ah, I see" / They why didn't you leave him? I ignored the f*cking pain! I became a sucker who waited six long months for you! Why didn't you leave him? WHY?!

"Tingin mo ba kung naging tayo noon, tayo parin hanggang ngayon?

"... I don't know" / YES! Sobrang mahal kita, it would have been a fairy tale, a dream come true!

"Just forget about it, ang importante ngayon friends na tayo"

"oo tama... magkaibigan" / kalimutan ang lahat... wish it was that easy

...

Liham ng isang pusong napopoot.

2012-01-06T22:23:00.000-08:00

"Hindi ka para sa akin, ayoko na!"

Every minute I stare at you my heart breaks.
From start to finish thoughts of you bring torment,
wrecking my spirit,
turning my hope into specks.
You are far from comprehension,
far from reach.

As my feet remain planted on the ground
there you are up in the heavens
hovering over my head
mocking my wits
shaming my pride
I despise you

Have I not exerted effort?
were my attempts too feeble?
I gave you the best gold
you gave me filthy rags
I gave you time
you spare not one minute
I spit on you

I thought what we had was special
I thought you and I could get along splendidly
I was wrong
I was very wrong
Depart from me
Be gone elsewhere
I hate you

Hindi ka para sa akin, ayoko na!

Stupid polynomials! noong bata ako numbers lang ang minumultiply bakit ngayon pati letters?! While taking our quiz after the short discussion, I kinda peeked into my seatmate's paper and I'm like "hala, bakit ang haba ng sagot niya". As expected, mine was wrong. Damn it! just when I thought I completely understood everything. I hate you math.

Bring it on 2012!

2012-01-03T22:29:00.000-08:00

2011 has been a painful year. Don't worry, I won't go through every sorrowful detail I mean, I don't want to bore you readers with all my sob stories. To keep it concise, 2011 for me, was a year of betrayal. I struggled with agony from January up to the very last days of December.

Still, I am thankful. I am thankful for the lessons the past year has taught me, thankful to the people who were always with me in those dire times.

2012 promises nothing but uncertainty. However, there is one thing I'm sure of... I am STRONGER NOW.

BTW I have 5 vows for 2012.

1. Update my blog regularly (at least once a week)
2. Read more books
3. Attend dance classes
4. Gain weight
5. STAY POSITIVE

THE 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU

2011-08-20T10:57:00.001-07:00

It's been a long while since the last time I posted anything here on my blog. I am a bit uncertain if this post I have come up with still falls under the category of creative writing since most of the words used in here are quite shallow. I can't help but feel that my brain cells have deteriorated in my many months of not writing. Nonetheless, these words came from my heart and are therefore worthy of posting. My apologies for the vulgar content.

---

PUTANGINAMO HAYUP KA PINAASA MO KO!

---

The 10 Things

1. YOU SLEEP TOO EARLY

9pm pa lang pero puro goodnight texts na ang natatanggap ko from you. Ano to may bedtime? elementary? It's actually pretty hard to believe a 19yo na may ganitong keme pa. I have been filled with speculations na 9pm onwards is your quality time with (insert name of boyfriend here) oo, i don't want to mention his name! Of course, I never had the courage to ask, I'm not even in the position to ask ... and even if I were, I wouldn't dare, baka hindi ko lang magustuhan ung sagot.

2. YOU'RE TOO SWEET

Bakit kelangan may hugs and :* ang mga texts mo? why do you make sleep on your shoulder/lap? why are you so irresistibly sweet kung sabi mo nga FRIENDS lang tayo? Naiinis ako kasi I can't help but assume na we're more than friends dahil sa mga ginagawa mo. Alam mong may gusto ako sa'yo, alam nating may gusto ka rin sakin at higit sa lahat alam nating may boyfriend ka na pero bakit ganito parin? ano to? paasa?? why do you have to be such a tease? Oo, masaya siya.. nakakakilig e pero what's the use kung at the end of the day all I do is cry? I cry because the hugs and kisses saved on my inbox are constant reminders of someone I can never have.

3. YOU MAKE ME DO STUPID THINGS

I cut class (sometimes) I wait for almost 3 hours prior to your dismissal, gumigising ako ng sobrang aga kahit afternoon pa ang classes ko para lang makasabay ka. Okay, I know you never asked me to do these things pero can't you see?? I am this crazy just to be with you!

4. I'M THE BEST WHEN I'M WITH YOU

Next to my bestfriend, ikaw yung tao na sobrang comfortable akong kasama. I can be myself... no masks, no pretenses. There's genuine happiness every time I'm with you. Ang sakit kasi we both know na hindi na babalik yung dati.

5. YOU'RE INSENSITIVE

There was this time na you were planning to go to ***** and I asked if I could come along. "hindi pwede, magkikita kasi kami ng boyfriend ko"I was like... PUTANGINA! alam kong hindi naman tayo pero sana cinonsider mo man lang na masakit marinig yun on my part tutal alam mo namang may gusto ako sa'yo diba? SANA NAGSINUNGALING KA NA LANG! Eh yung mga panahon na I'm hanging out with your friends tapos sasabihin mong "guys, punta kayo sa birthday ni boyfriend ha" my god! sadya ba yon? ... pero sige, wala akong karapatan magreklamo, ginusto ko to e.

6. YOU MAKE IT SEEM TOO EASY

When I decided to end everything between us ( as if there really was something to end ) hindi basta basta yun! I had to gather all my courage and face the fact that YOU can NEVER be MINE. Do you have any idea how it feels na pigilan yung sarili mo from doing the things na nakasanayan na like texting you and exchanging sweet nothings? IT'S FUCKING HARD!

"Grabe ka wala ka man lang talagang reply sa mga texts ko or kaya paramdam ganito ganyan tapos puro okay lang yung sagot mo kanina." are you serious? tingin mo ba madali lang yung pagpipigil na ginawa ko? of course not! I had to control myself dahil pag nag give in nanaman ako, iiyak at iiyak lang ako.

7. YOU'RE SELF-CENTERED

Remember the time na tiniis kong hindi kita itext? nagalit ka diba pero nung nagalit ka hindi ko kinaya... hindi kita natiis kaya NAGREPLY AKO. I was drunk that time pero nilakad ko yung main road para lang maghanap ng loading station just so I can call and make sure you're okay. We went to school together that morning dinedma mo ko, hindi mo ko kinakausap YOU MADE ME LOOK STUPID and what was your reason? kasi gusto mong magalit ako sayo? kasi gusto mong maramdaman ko yung feeling na hindi kinakausap? BULLSHIT! Why do you need to get even? Hindi pa ba enough yung texts and failed call attempts ko? Was there ever a time na gumanti ako when all you do was hurt me? tell me! was there ever a time?

8. YOU CHOSE HIM OVER ME

And that's just one fucking thing I don't wanna talk about.

9. YOU ACT AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED

You still call and text at nageexpect ka pa ng reply. Bakit ganon? ayoko na nga diba? ayaw na kitang kausapin. If you can't love me, will you at least help me move on?!

10. NAKAKAMISS KA

There! I admit it! I miss everything! Your scent, your witty humor, your cold sarcastic jokes... pero tama na. Enough is enough. I should stop feeding this emotion. I assume hindi ka mahihirapan magmove on dahil you're with someone na and I don't want to be the kawawa being left behind.

THOUGHTS V: Tasting Love

2011-03-11T00:08:00.000-08:00

It was in an afternoon of fall. There they were taking a stroll beneath the grandiose trees as autumn leaves fall like snowflakes on the ground. It was a portrait the boy used to paint deep within the walls of his unconscious mind. There were shades and colors every hopeless romantic would dream of laying on their canvasses. Once finished, they just stare at it, fantasizing... desperately waiting for that moment to come alive. The boy was just one of the fortunate few who had his dream come true.

"Let's jump over there" He said pointing at the pile of leaves. "You mean dive? Are you sure?" The girl replied. The boy held her hand, their fingers tight and locked. Then, with a single mischievous smile they ran towards the pile.

They ended up lying on the dirt side by side. They laughed their hearts out as they watch dry leaves fly everywhere. "You should have the seen the look on your face" The boy said. Laughter roared even more! As it seized he turned to her, their faces a breath away. He just stared at her. She wore a face of perfection, a marvel, a sight he only used behold from a distance, a figure he used to steal glimpses of. Now, there he lays, only courage away from a kiss. He was speechless. It's as if he was robbed of all the flamboyant words he knows.

"Do you love me" The boy blurted out. The girl cupped her hands on his cheeks "Listen to me" The girl said "I know you're gifted and all, dancing, writing and all those stuff but believe me when I tell you that even if you couldn't dance or write anything fancy I'd still love you" The boy remained silent. Nothing was heard from him except for the audible sound of his heartbeat. "All that time you remained aloof, hushed, doing nothing but wait and watch I was waiting for you. Now you're here... with me... together...." As they remain sitting underneath the shades, the boy started painting new pictures in his head. Pictures that somehow depict a new chapter in their story. Pictures that are full of color, full of life, hope and love. Then and there he knew, looking deep in her eyes, that beyond any shadow of doubt... she is the one he would like to spend eternity with.

..."I've been saving love songs and lullabies, and there's so much more no one's ever heard before. Something's telling me it might be you, all of my life"

Unpublished Love

2010-07-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

"Make me feel good when I hurt so bad, barely getting' mad, I'm so glad I found you, I love bein' around you"

From the moment the song began serenading my ears, like the stream's raging waters thoughts of you came flooding in my restless mind. How am I to portray you? Confused I have been, blinded by the myriad things about you that captivated me. It's as if I am trapped in an arcane maze teeming with undecipherable riddles. goodness! Indeed it is challenging to bring you into perfect picture. I've written dozens, juiced my brain with poems and letters and stories yet every time I'd sit down and write, it's as if I'm writing to you for the first time.

The way your long curly hair gently dances with the wind, that sweet voice of yours, able to seize all the filthy noise, your heart-melting, compassionate and ever so loving stare, your lovely face, your cute smile, your witty jokes, your winks everything! I believe that I don't have the luxury of space to enumerate all of them.

Every time you would tell me how special I am even at times I know I'm not, when you'd ask me simple things like "have I eaten" or "how was my day" just gives me that inexpressive bliss probably that thing they call "kilig". I hope your mind would dare not think of these as mere praises only for I have gathered all my emotions to assemble these words. If only my mind has richer vocabulary I guess I could have come up with a more appealing manuscript but I guess this is it... for now.

I know I have always said this but just please let me say it again... You make waiting sooo worth it. Have a pleasant evening my dear, I'll meet you in my dreams. :)

____________________________________________________________________
This is what? my 5th post for her? hindi pa kasama ung mga unpublished ones hehe ooohhh geez :) :)

THOUGHTS IV

2010-06-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

To the eighth wonder of the world,

The words I know of are inadequate to convey my pleasure of having you in my life. I assume that you are clueless of what you are in my little world. Very well then, let me tell you.

You, my darling, a beautifully crafted woman of God, have never failed to wipe away my sorrows and paint a smile on my face. I don't know how you do it but every time you'd place your sweet, soft hands on my cheeks and when your mesmerizing eyes meet mine, all my troubles would simply dissolve. Whenever I am full of rage, times when my heart is overflowing with fury, just a simple "calm down, elijah" from you would suddenly extinguish the fire. All my anger would drift away yet still leave me wondering how it happened. No one in my entire life not even my parents has the ability to silence all the noise my head. Again, I am puzzled. How do you do it?

Sometimes I am stupid, I admit. I--I make you cry with my careless words. I know, trust me I do and I am sorry. If only the skies could paint the sadness I feel whenever you're hurt. If only the waters could reflect the hatred I have towards myself knowing that I am the one who caused you the pain. If only my arms could reach and wrap you... and tell you how deeply sorry I am. Then and there you would see how treasured you are in my life.

Your random acts of kindness. Your messages in my phone "have you eaten?", "go to bed early okay?", "I'll meet you in my prayers" so on and so forth would totally melt my heart away. I guess to you those were just plain and simple but to me... oh my you have no idea! :)

Thank you. Thank you for being a good friend, for being a special friend... an extra special friend. Thank you for caring, always having my welfare in mind. I don't know how to thank you enough... I'm speechless. Did you know that I juiced up my mind so I can find these words for you?? That's how special you are to me.

I remember telling you that only special people have a place on my blog.... guess this is your 3rd post haha. :) You...you are definitely... worth the wait.

Thoughts III

2010-01-26T19:50:00.000-08:00

"Is she here yet?", "Has anybody seen her?" My eyes were in search for a familiar silhouette as I walk around the place."Come on what's taking her so long?"

There she was making her way pass through the glass doors. The spotlights turned to her as if slowly unveiling her gentle and conservative beauty. Here she comes only a few steps away. For a swift moment the crowd seemed to have sealed their lips and all the noise has seized. Nothing can be heard from the place except for the clicking of her heels and the sound of my heartbeat.

"Elay" She uttered with a smile as she stands right in front of me. "Calm down, don't be too obvious" I whispered to myself. "Hey what's up, is she your friend?" I replied "Yes, we're going to talk about something" She answered back. All day I've been filled with sunshines and butterflies all locked up in my chest but of course I can't tell her that. I can't say "Hey I've been waiting for you all day" That would be shallow and stupid! "Okay go ahead" with a deep breath I answered.

I couldn't stand waiting so I gathered all the courage scattered in the corners of my mind and decided to sit next to her.

There we were laughing our hearts out AGAIN. Oh I wanted to just sit there and talk to her forever. I always like, wait not like: LOVE, I always love to make her laugh why? well here's the thing; I DON'T KNOW.

Another day has ended

"In all of creation all things great and small, you are the one that surpasses them all. More precious than any diamond or pearl they broke the mold when you came in this world. And I'm trying hard to figure out just how I ever did without the warmth of your smile, the heart of a child that's deep inside leaves me purified."

I posted this without editing so there may be grammatical flaws oh well it's my blog anyway. Kindly leave a comment :)

Thoughts II

2010-01-12T20:59:00.000-08:00

I first saw her in my dream; a charming young lady whose face is like those of angels. She has a smile that can wipe out anyone's sorrow and eyes that seem to hold all the beauty in the world. Her captivating physique is no different from her pure heart. Oh she's perfect... simply perfect.

Her beauty is one that surpasses the countless faces in the crowd. A jewel in a sea of pebbles, a swan in a pond of ducks, an oasis in a land of sand, a rose in the middle of thorns and thistles, words even phrases come flooding into my mind every time i think of her. I don't know which to pick, I don't know what word or set of words would be able to convey her beauty.

"Hi elay" she came to me tapping me by the shoulder. "I'm okay, as usual" with a low voice I replied. Our minutes of conversation seemed hours. The giggles we shared are priceless. Her voice was music to my ears. I did nothing but ridicule her oh so corny jokes and taunt her punch lines but little did she know, that beneath those silly lines lies a heart that jumps in inexpressive bliss.

When will heaven grant me the chance of conversing with her again?

I guess for now there's nothing left for me to do but to steal glimpses of her...
to admire her beauty and be dazzled by her charm from afar...
to stay up late drawing images of her in my mind...
to wait... and wait

Words from the heart

2009-10-05T17:28:00.001-07:00

Thoughts

A soft breeze wafts on my cheeks
caressing me softly and lovingly
and thoughts of you came racing
soon upon my awakening

Sing to me my beloved
I always long for your tender voice
a serenading song, a soothing lullaby
so irresistible, so you

I keep falling in love with you
every minute of every day
sunrise till' sunset, dusk till' dawn
my love, my darling
my calm waters and my woodland dove
your love is more than enough
is everything that my soul ever longed for

Cup your hands into my cheeks
and look deep into my eyes
so you could see once more
like an inexpressive bliss
like an inconceivable ecstasy
my unfathomable love for you

photo from ireneshpak

A letter of longing

2009-08-24T01:22:00.000-07:00

To that someone who will never be replaced,

I sat beneath the star-spangled sky watching you. You're laughing with your friends, cracking silly jokes with joy written all over your face. You're happy indeed and indeed you've missed them. It's been a long time since you have left. I missed your laughter, those eyes of yours that held all the beauty in the world and our moments, such memories filled with endless wonder. We could have died of happiness, or at least I could have.

Now you're back. Truly my prayers have been answered, that those long cold nights of crying were not in vain. It's sad though, how you forgot about me, how you ignored my presence, how I had to steal glimpses of you, how I sit here, here under this thick, moonless, black canvass craving for your attention.

I guess I have no more room in your heart. I guess all the roles in your little theater show have already been taken, that happiness is only a state of mind, a phony dream, a trap of wonderful promises. Still, I'll leave a space for you in my heart, in case you'll need me, in case you'll return.

Catching a breath

2009-07-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

Everything is happening too fast...

Time was utterly swift
It was unnoticeable
The winds came
it carried our memories
as it passes
You're all grown up now
You've moved on
Yet here I remain
Sitting under the stars
couldn't resist
the temptation of the past
sitting here...
Trying to taste the good times
Trying to feel how it was like

I've been vain and bitter
my mouth became an open grave
it wanted to devour you
to ruin you
to make you miserable
to make you experience
the crucible I endured
the loneliness I overcame
the sorrowful cries in my soul
my heart turned into stone
afraid to trust
afraid to love

Now, God has healed me
God has mended my wounded heart
Now, there are people waiting for me
people spending time listening to my stories
people sparing attention sharing my burdens
people who remind me that life after all is beautiful

Still I wonder where you are
are there people caring for you
are they listening to you
are they being true to you
even when I am unkind
behind this mask
lies a heart longing for you

New friends you now have
New faces, new character
I too have come far
New companions I also have
But I swear I think of you
and how I wish you knew
That amidst the hundreds of stars in my life
your star remains bright.

A Story of love and friendship.

2009-06-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

They were the best of friends but now it's as if they never crossed each other's path

They've been friends for quite a long time. The girl would always sing songs to the guy while in return the guy would compose dozens of poems. Every single word is infused with unfathomable passion and as every ink spills, so does yearning and love. Hers is the sweet voice that awakens the boy from deep slumber and the one, a soothing lullaby that cradles him to bed. There is no storm to intense for them to endure, no mountain too high for them to reach and no problem too big for them to overcome.
Their hands were held and their fingers locked as they walked through life. They became the light to each other's path, the strength for every weakness and the smile for every tear. Their love was far more sweeter than the sweetest honey, higher than the limitless heavens and deeper than the deepest ocean. The finest words could never portray the strong friendship that encloses them.

One day the boy asked: "would there be a chance that you fall in love with me?" "of course" the girl replied. The sweet exchange of words continued as new chapters of their lives began unfolding. It was the time to flip the coin and take a glimpse on the other side. A once pleasant friendship became a passionate romance. They were so engrossed into each other, engulfed by the warmth of the love they shared. They were immersed in the depths of each other's heart, so in love that they could write books about their love. As their eyes meet, seconds turned hours and as his lips press against the girl's the universe paused to witness such immeasurable love.

They broke up. Knife-life words spitting out from the boy's mouth piercing and wrecking the girl's heart apart. She was emotionally battered. In fact, both of them were for none of them thought this would have happened. None of them desired to put an end to their grandiose story. The sun hid behind the shadows of the clouds as lightning flashed across the sky. A few moments have passed and the heavens began pouring out its tears. The bright picture was filled with shades of agony. They embraced for the very last time whispering cold and unbearable words of goodbye

A couple of sunsets have passed yet the boy's heart remained wounded. He found himself trapped in a cage of regrets. His heart grew weak every passing moment longing for the girl's caress. He lost more than just a lover but a best friend. The roots that were once deep were easily plucked out. For two years the boy cried over his bestfriend. Tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he stab himself with letters the girl once wrote for him. The poems that were once overflowing with inexpressive joy, poems that were filled with a vast array of colors are now dull and dead. He had to endure 2 years of unending torment.

One day the boy asked if they could once again journey together, steal blissful glimpses from the past and head towards the future together lovers or best friends it doesn't matter as long as they're together the boy would be glad. "Can't we just forget what happened and write a new chapter in our lives? Can't we just hold on to the happy memories and use it to reignite the fire in our hearts? Can't we have one last chance? Can't we?" The boy clutched the girl's arms as he cried these words. The girl turned away and said: "What happened in the past stays in the past, to be honest I don't have any feelings for you anymore." The boy shook the girl's arms and uttered: "Look me in the eyes and say you don't love me! you're my best friend, you're the one person who knows me, who knows how I feel even without saying a word, the one who can look deep into my eyes and tell me how I am doing." The girl did what the boy asked. The boy was stunned. He stood there watching helplessly as the girl walked away from him.

Their book ended with that sorrowful conversation.
THE END.

They say that you don't know what you have until you lose it but I think it doesn't work that way. For me, you do know what you have, it's just that you thought you'd never lose it.

The Awakening

2009-05-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

My chains are gone, I've been set free

I stood in the middle of the pavilion with tears rolling down my cheeks. Sweat came running down my forehead as I held my arms high waiting for that heavenly touch. My heartbeat dramatically increased as dreadful images came appearing inside my head. There came flashbacks of my horrible and painful yesterday, a portion of my life when people deserted me, when heavy rains poured on my head and when blinding darkness filled my days.

My nails started clawing my flesh as my grip tightens....Yesterday... when deception and despair are my daily bread. Misery and mockery are my morning meals while bitterness and hatred were my evening delights. My teeth, chewing and savoring the deceiving sweetness of Satan's evil buffet. At the door of my lips there stood lies of all kinds. My tongue that used to praise became a cursing weapon. Indeed I was a demon without wings... a beast without a tail.

Light came shining on my dirty and miserable soul. His glory brought me to my knees as it restored my empty spirit. Like snow, every lie, every hatred, every bitterness, every chain, every bondage and every foolish thought dissolved. I remained on my knees wrapped in his loving arms, clothed with his unending grace... kneeling down under the comfort of his wings.

I saw all the time that was wasted. Times of testing that were supposed to make me a better person were gone for I chose the easy way out. I could've been so much more after overcoming those trials. Flowers really do bloom after the rain and you know what? they'll become even more beautiful once the harvester finishes the pruning process where all the thorns are gone.

I sat in the corner hugging my knees, shedding crystal tears falling on my cheeks, crying over the wasted time when a familiar voice whispered to my ear:

"I will break your heart and rebuild you again... I have loved you with an everlasting love"

From then on he made a covenant that he will NEVER turn back, NEVER run away and will ALWAYS bow down.

One thing I ask of the Lord this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple -Psalms 27:4

Teacher Elay

2009-05-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

Children have an innate passion for stories; they are always eager to explore new worlds and reach the limit of their imagination. You can see their eyes outgrow their face as the story unfolds a new realm page by page, picture by picture, delighted by the adventures simple words bring.

I am a Sunday school teacher and story telling is what I always do. Can you imagine yourself standing in front of children for hours holding a book that you already perused hundreds of times, entertaining limitless and out of this world questions, translating complicated terms and enduring the outrageous noise?

But do you know what makes me pursue this ministry and somehow keep on accepting responsibilities? It's because if in my eyes I see twerpy, smelly little pests, in their eyes they see a dad, a teacher, a big brother, and a hero. All my heartaches and problems would fade for a moment once I see smiles painted on their faces.

To chase them around the church and get them to their seats, to distribute their snacks and play hilarious games, to sit with them and hear all their funny thoughts about life, education and their families are the precious moments I surely savor.

I love kids and I love being their "teacher Elay" I hope sooner or later I will be able to teach again.

God Bless.

P.S.
I remember one time I asked the kids to draw something that would express themselves and I was so surprised and at the same time bothered to see the picture one of my 5 year old kids drew. It was a BURNING HOUSE! That's something eh?

New Faces.

2009-04-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

So many people, so many words and so many promises.

Lately I was in the middle of nowhere full of hatred and sadness. I was abandoned like a kitten on a dark and cold alley by those who I truly value. I was deserted in an unfamiliar and unwanted place by my dearest companions, sitting in the darkest and wettest corner of an alley as rain pours upon my head.

I struggled for survival. Every night I'd lie awake, my eyes overflowing with tears as I hear the chant of my sorrowful echo; "I am strong" Crying even more as my mind attempts to destroy dreadful thoughts, images of those blissful memories that are hard to forget.

If only they know how miserable I've become. If only they know that because of them I became afraid to love, afraid to trust not only me but everyone around me. That I became afraid to trust and cautious to make friends

Now my wounds are starting to mend. The pictures are slowly being washed away from my memory making way for new images in my album. Cries are turning to smiles as the rain cleanses the dirt preparing me for a new chapter in my life.

Now I find myself surrounded by so many people. People with new faces and new personalities.

"Nandito lng ako pag may problema ka"
"Ako, kami, makikinig kami sa'yo"
"Andito naman kami eh"

So many voices, so many words and so many promises. I could still remember the same people who said those words and are now out of my life. I am still afraid to trust in fact, I'm afraid to even try. I don't know if the lips that uttered these words are sincere or just trying to make me feel better. Will they make my dull life colorful? Will they stay?

*sighs

I'm left with so many questions

I hate you.

2009-04-12T17:24:00.000-07:00

There was no sound in the room.
The blinding darkness spilled all over the scene.
The chilly winds were absent, gone with all the giggles and smiles.

He sat in the corner, crying
In his hand was a picture of his friend
A pretty young girl; long smooth hair, joyful smile
braced teeth, a bit chubby but cute,

Sweat rolls down his forehead every time the clock ticks
And as every minute pass, every blissful memory that appears
his grip of the picture tightens.

His clutches were on the image
His nails were clawing and scratching the surface
ripping all the colors out of the picture
There were sweat, tears and blood
And again, as every moment pass, the tighter his grip becomes

He remained sitting
hugging his knees with his arms
cradling himself to sleep
to shut his eyes that are out of tears
He wanted to rest
But he couldn't

He stares at the picture with unfathomable anger
He's betrayed
He's abandoned
He felt manipulated
He felt forsaken

If only words could define his anger
If only someone would sit with him and listen
If only his friend would explain herself
If...

a letter

2009-04-03T17:45:00.000-07:00

Your face is still fresh in my memory
Like the first glimpse of a blooming flower in the beginning of spring
Your voice is still remembered by my ears
So lovely, just like the captivating psalms of David; alive and everlasting

Every minute of everyday I think of you
From dusk to dawn, sunrise till sunset
Yours is the magnificent voice that wakes my spirit up
the same voice, a soothing lullaby that cradles me to bed

Speak to me again oh my guiding star
Please do not conceal yourself from the clouds
See how I endure this unbearable crucible without you
Witness the overflowing tears rolling down my cheeks
falling on our picture
as if gently washing all our years and memories

My confidante, I never thought I'd lose you
Your eyes utter goodbyes and your actions speak rejection
What have I done for you to treat me this way?
Speak to me before it's too late
Are you still a friend or are you now a foe?

I wish I could hold you in my arms
As I do in my dreams
But while dreams fade away
My heart yearns for you.

Down the memory lane

2009-03-26T21:21:00.001-07:00

"How could I let them go? How long should I hold on? They're my life, they're everything to me, I value them so much!"

It was a dream. I was wandering around the walls of a city walking on the concrete road bare feet and in pajamas. It was odd that there was nobody living in there, no sound of human interactions just the chilly winds pushing and pulling the sturdy trees. I hugged myself and struggled for warmth for the atmosphere grew awfully cold. There were no lights except for rusty old lamp posts along the alley. The panorama was engulfed in thick gray-dull and dead. The blue skies were gray and dark as if brewing a storm. The green grass and the rainbow painted flowers were as dark as the skies as if these living things were robbed of all the bright, joyful shades. There were buildings but no residents. there were houses but no homes.

I went pass a dark and narrow alley called 'memory lane' and below its sign says: 'he who's brave enough to face truth shall find answers'. Without second thoughts I decided to go in. The darkness of the alley as it narrows was like a bottomless abyss, preventing any light to escape its dreadful clutches. As I continued walking, I began to have an eerie feeling that the walls were somehow closing in on me. Desperate to find what's on the end and terrified by an eerie feeling, I ran in panic, gasping for air, struggling to keep my balance as I ran on the wet and slippery road.

A few moments later I paused for air. It seemed that the road was infinite and that I'm trapped in a middle of nowhere. That even if I keep on running, the road will somehow extend its length. I sat and cried. A few moments passed and the brick walls started to flash images.

Every time a person would ask me if I'm okay, I'd always say YES. Yes was always my answer to those people who find interest in taking a peek in my heart, that if I say that three letter word, they'd stop and leave me alone. When I saw the images of my friends that I lost I was crushed and devastated beyond words. I sat there wrapping my knees with my arms as my eyes failed to seize the tears from falling. My eyes were overflowing with tears and in every tear were words, letters expressing pain that as it hit the ground it would emit a sorrowful echo. If a person could think of word far more than crushed, devastated, ruined and destroyed, that would be me.

It came to me that pride somehow cloaked the true condition of my soul. As the memories unveil I saw the precious pieces of my heart drowning in a bucket of unbearable sorrow that it screamed for someone to pick it up and heal it. There were some pieces missing, pieces that were taken by those who left him alone, those who entered his door and swiftly left through his window. I cried and cried and cried.

My Almighty Dad came out of nowhere. He picked the pieces of my heart with his nail scarred hands, the same hands that wiped out my tears and cupped my cheeks. He stood up in front of me, carried me then hugged me. He asked me to let them go, to let all the bitterness and sorrow flow down the drain.

"How could I let them go? How long should I hold on? They're my life, they're everything to me, I value them so much!" I replied.

"I value my son too yet I gave Him up for your sake remember?" He said.

I was left without words to say only tears. A couple of silent minutes passed then I whispered: "They left with the pieces of my heart, how can I be whole again?"

He hugged me for the second time, only this hug was tighter and more intimate. His lips were right next to my ear and whispered: "Then let me fill the empty pieces with my love... I will be here when you feel like being quiet or when you need to speak your mind. When you need a shoulder to cry on, when you need a friend or a buddy, I will be here."

I looked back on the walls flashing the images of my friends. It was painful for me to let them go... really painful. I took a stone and smash it against the wall, seconds later the images fade. As the pictures vanished so did my bitterness. My Dad hugged me again, held my hands and left.

I know it was painful to let them go and living each day with that fact is even more painful yet I know God will never make me feel alone... No... NEVER.

More than just dance.

2009-03-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

This video is a dance number of a boy who lost his leg and a girl who lost her arm. They won first place in the annual dance competition CCTV9 international, Beijing. Regardless of their disabilities they continued to pursue their passion for dancing. May you find inspiration in their powerful piece.

In the playground

2009-03-04T19:36:00.000-08:00

It's when you feel alone and that nobody cares if you exist.

The sweet voices of the children I can hear, It was like an enormous swarm of bees heard and seen covering the entire place. The golden brown leaves falling from the trees, guided by the warm colors of the sun's spectrum somehow reminded me of how splendid my life was.

I sat beneath the grandiose oak tree where I once carved my dreams and happiness. The tree that witnessed every blissful moment I had, the sturdy monument that served as the library for my whole history now stands behind me singing songs I used to sing.

As I sit there I couldn't help but stare and watch those four foot tall angels giggling and running ,having fun to their heart's content. They were cracking and throwing jokes at each other, laughing like there's no tomorrow. I too have silly jokes and magical stories to tell, but how would I enjoy them when there's no one who'd sit and listen to me. I just sat there with a stick drawing faces on the dirt.

The innocent youngsters had roleplaying games. There were kings, queens, princes, princesses and warriors. The climbed the monkey bars and made a fortress, rode the seasaw and had unicorns. Me? I remained hushed in my seat kicking the leaves that piled up. I wasn't invited to their magical game but I can sure tell it's fun! Did you know that I have fascinating games too? Oh well, what would I do with these games when there's no one to play them with.

I stood up and went to sit by the swings to have my snack. I wanted to cry because no one would sit with me. There were many people around yet I don't know why somehow I felt lonely. I guess I'm just starting to miss the ones who used to played games with me.

As I sit alone waiting and praying for my playmates, I learned something: "It's not the number of people around you that determines your loneliness, it's your relationship to them."

What would you do with two hundred fifty strangers when all you need is four people?

15th Rose

2009-02-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

It was the night when all the heavenly bodies gathered to witness my chance of holding you again in my arms, an evening when time stood still and problems seized to exist.

I sat on my chair with a white rose on my hand. As I patiently wait, my body grew cold and my heartbeat rapidly increased. I was like a trembling criminal on a courtroom waiting for my verdict. As I remained perfectly still and hushed on my seat I stole glimpses of you; your eyes, your smile, your lips, your everything!

Finally my moment came. I stood up and walked towards you and as I give you my rose I feel my knees tremble! It felt as though no one was around... I never thought that this moment will come again. I just can't compare you with anything in this world.

There were lots of desires running around my mind as we danced; to smooth your elegant hair with my fingers, to cup my hands on your tender cheeks, to kiss those sweet lips, to stare on your ever so dazzling smile, to look deep into those mesmerizing eyes, to hug you... to hold you... forever.

As our music continues, I saw my coffin of infinite regrets surfaced. It felt like all those years I spent longing and crying for your return were just mere nightmares and that this is the point where I'll wake up. Unfortunately, what I thought was real was just made up of fantasies, thoughts and desired feelings... I guess I just 'felt' it.

I went back to my seat with teary eyes... sat there gazing upon you and your 18th dance.

"All those years I've longed to hold you in my arms, I've been dreaming of you. Every night, I've been watching all the stars that fall down, wishing you would be mine." -Side A, Forevermore

Messages in a bottle.

2009-02-15T21:06:00.000-08:00

I saw you an island not far away. You sat there on the shore, hugging your knees with tears rolling down your cheeks. The soft bed of sand embraces your body, trying to sustain the warmth you're longing for. The gentle ocean breeze soothes your soul, blowing all the troubles and pain away. I saw you all by yourself, a stranger with no one.

I don't know your story, I don't know why you're weeping. I wish I could help, to offer my listening ears or my trustworthy shoulders but I can't. Like you, I was devastated, tossed and turned by the devouring waves, wrestled with the rocks and ended up shattered. Like you, my heart was injured.

The waters became calm. The unbearable nightmares and dreadful visions vanished. I sent you a message, a message in a bottle floating its way to you. I wanted to sympathize with your hurts, to share your pain and to hold your hand.

A few days later you replied. It was one of those unforgettable moments when the sun shone. An unforgettable second when a stranger painted a smile on my face... a second of having hope, hope of again, experiencing laughter and joy.

We exchanged letters and surprisingly our hearts were connected. I became a brother to you, a friend and a comforter. A stood on my island taking every breath with you. Don't you think engineers from heaven designed this plan? a plan that two totally different worlds will spin together? that two strangers will discover friendship? I believe it wasn't any accident, it was fate.

Again, I stood on the shore thinking. I am uncertain of when and how this will end, of how much strength we need to face the odds but one thing is for sure; I will hold your hands as tight as I can, that even if you let go... my hands will never.

My Long road home

2009-02-12T18:15:00.000-08:00

The audible sound of the crowd from outside the room was vividly heard as Elijah sat silently in the utter darkness.

His eyes grew wide, barely daring to breathe, listening to the sharp, heartbreaking words from the mouths around him. Elijah seized the crystal tears from falling as he continued enduring the ache of the knife like words piercing his soul. He has carried a lot of grief and cried a lot of tears in his short existence but not like this one.

Every time an interminable silence occurs, Elijah would take a deep breath, doing his best to pull himself together as they slowly torture and wreck his spirit apart. Elijah knew better than to explain, to apologize or even to cry. To see the people he once thought as his second parents, his second brother, his second home stone him to death was indeed... excruciatingly painful.

His already two huge eyes seemed to outgrew his face as he watched the inevitable tension increase in their eyes, and with a single superhuman gesture, they battered him with words with such speed, that the air seemed to have leave Elijah's lungs.

The person whom he expected to somehow defend him just sat there and watch his spirit being tortured. There was no whimper of pain, no sound as invisible hands slapped him hard across the top of his head. To Elijah, the sound of the blows were deafening.

He walked the long road ahead of him all by himself. The flickering lamp posts guiding his way as he walk the seemingly infinite road were somehow offering him comfort. Wondering when he'll find home his eyes begin to flood with tears and as he walk there, he felt the embrace of no one but the cold February breeze.

Dreams.

2009-02-09T04:51:00.000-08:00

Help, I'm drowning.

Their hands were held as they ran along the shore,
laughing and playing under the bright colors of the spectrum.
The soothing warmth of the ocean breeze
was caressing their skin as they run.
They sat together, hands still held,
feeling the gentle friction between them and the ocean waves.

They went towards the magnificent waters for a splash
The whole afternoon was blissful, filled with
laughter and smiles beyond description
They made sandcastles, collected shells and had
a little picnic.

The girl took the guy's hand
"promise me you'll love me forever"
The guy nodded... "yes"
They were a couple of inches away from the shore
They wrote their dreams and forevers on a piece of paper
Together, they folded it and made a little paper boat

All of a sudden, the sun vanished
The bright warm skies turned black
the water became cold and unbearable
The massive waves came between them
yet their hands remained intact
fingers crossed
not letting go

The girl was crying
her tears were rolling on her cheeks
her feet was struggling, fighting
the ocean that devours her
she was catching her breath
breathing...
panting...
gasping..
her picture was far from portrayal
She clutched the guy's hand
still not letting go.

The guy was in panic

confusion and pride consumed him
corrupted his mind
and hardened his heart
he lost his grip of the girl's hand
then swam towards the shore

The girl was stunned
her tears fell harder this time
seeing the guy whom he loved
departed from her
she cried for the guy's help
but he was on the shore now....
far from her...

The guy could've saved the girl

but he chose to wait on the shore
to wait for the waves to bring the girl back
it seemed like the ocean of agony
that tortured the innocent soul of the girl
mean nothing to him
I guessed he thought that since
the waves will bring her again
all he could do is wait
and apologize
apologize for choosing pride over her
for ignoring her tears
for unclasping her hands
for breaking his promises
for letting her go

She woke up crying...
crying because even in her dreams
the same thought of the guy leaving her
kept haunting her.

Questions left unanswered
words left unsaid
promises left unfulfilled.

In tears, She remained on her bed...

For Her.

2009-02-06T05:30:00.000-08:00

Another year given and done
I've come through, safe one more time
The days are warmer than I thought
It burns a pathway through the haze
of a thousand bird filled mornings
that would never reach your eyes

I am sitting alone tonight darling
Alone in the cold old room
and the sound of the rain
as it falls on the pane
makes darker its gathering gloom

The rain too is falling
on your picture as if washing
the dust of years and memories
that only my heart carries

caress me in my dreams
if only to soothe my awakening
Hold me in your arms as if you were beside me
cup your hands on my cheeks
AND LOOK DEEP INTO MY EYES
SO YOU COULD SEE ONCE MORE
limitless and as pure as the cloudless sky
MY UNFATHOMABLE LOVE FOR YOU

I feel and see you in every tree and flower
in every drop of rain
maybe a soft breeze that wafts
gently touching my skin till I drift away

smoothe my hair with your hands
and wipe away my tears
tears of longing, regret and bereavement
I can't forget the long years
years of pain and life's crucible
but I'll always remember the minutes
minutes of tenderness and care
that soothed the agony of your absence

-Avelina Tividad

Yes, this letter was written by my Grandmother. She wrote this for her husband who now is spending his eternity in heaven. Now, I too, dedicate this to the one who used to be my lover; the 8th wonder of the world. Advance Happy Birthday.

He continued walking.

2009-02-03T00:22:00.000-08:00

Company by his own, he continued walking along the narrow brick road. The storm never hushed, for days it kept on pouring its inconceivable wrath.

He reached an intersection and paused for a moment. Lights were escaping from his sight as the lamp posts begin to fade, the sound of the raindrops were traveling in and out of his ears, there were no colors visible in the picture... it was dull and dead.

The fog started to clear the road. He was puzzled to see someone on the other side of the street. The storm is totally bad and there's no reason for people standing on the streets by themselves. He surely doesn't know the person's story, it was a book he never laid hands on. "What could be so wrong that this person chose to walk on a stormy night alone?" He crossed the wet and slippery street towards the person.

A couple of fireflies lit the scene as they sit under an oak tree. It was their first time to talk yet they seemed to treat each other very special. The rain poured harder and this time, they used their jackets for protection. There were confessions and stories told. They took turns in narrating their books to each other. The simple gestures of listening and opening up made the dreadful storm bearable.

They both stood up and started to walk. As they laugh and play together under the rain, he realized the smile painted on his face. He was surprised that a person so strange and so new was able to turn his frowned face to a happy one. He was uncertain of until when his new friend will stay but right now, all he wanted to do is love his friend... to love like he's never been hurt.

"holding you for the very first time, never letting go"

-To be with you, David Archuleta.

Thoughts

2009-01-23T17:16:00.000-08:00

He left his umbrella, his comfort zone. He left even the umbrellas he once shared with his friends. He ran in the pouring rain to chase a friend walking away from him.

(Staring on the blank ceiling... in silent... thinking.)

Oh yes, I could still remember his overflowing love for his special friend. Pondering upon the dreams he dreamed, the laughter and sorrows they shared, everything! Sitting on the dining table, watching movies on the laptop, munching on chips and cookies and cracking jokes. The fresh memories of them dancing foolishly in front of the mirror, midnight conversations over the phone and a whole lot more. I could still recall the time when he ran out in the storm, running in the slippery streets panting for air, navigating through the storm, his feet struggling, giving everything to restore the golden chain of friendship.

He saw his friend standing on the horizon. His friend's face was gray and blurry, as usual he's wearing skinny jeans, skater shoes and a fitted shirt. "I don't want to share my umbrella with you anymore!" There! the immortal words that stabbed his heart, he was surrounded with so much noise but his voice cannot be ignored for it was very familiar! It was so unfair that he left everything to go after his friend yet ended up with nothing, oh he did end up with something; broken hopes, a broken heart and a broken spirit... blah blah... he moved on... blah blah.

They went on their separate ways. The storm's getting more furious so he went to search for his old friends and find some shelter (after all, life isn't meant to be played individually diba?). EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. He was filled with tears! He tried to seize the crystal liquids but it was useless. His huge eyes outgrew his face. The people whom he once shared umbrellas with are now comfy sharing it with new people. The roles in their little theatre show are already taken leaving him no space... no one. He still see them in his dreams, even his special friend and let me tell you it doesn't help! Those dreams left him in a cage of illusions. Like a lion, he's craving for freedom, he wanted to escape!

He was there, standing, the lamp posts guiding his way, the freezing winds caressing his skin. There's no one to hold him, no one who cares... no one.

It was hard to accept that he's alone now, but it's harder to live with it.

I chose silence.

2009-01-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

Every time I write a blog entry, I would have to find a quiet place where I can focus and work. The deafening silence enables me to concentrate on what my mind is attempting to utter. Silence allows me to choose my words with great precision, organize my random thoughts and discover my true being.

I found myself bewildered as I stumble upon a friendster page. The page was from a very familiar person, but it wasn't him who struck me, it was his shout out. "Silence is the virtue of fools" Yes! The immortal words of Sir Francis Bacon, though centuries old, found revival in these recent cultures. Most of my friends think that I am never silent. Those who matter the most to me know that most of the time, I am.For a person like me who admires silence, I asked myself why in certain situations do I choose to keep my mouth shut.

I maintain silence every time a pray to the Almighty. For me it's quite difficult to focus on Him and listen to His words if you're the only one who'll keep babbling. There are times when it would be best to remain silent and let Him do the talking.

Well, as I have mentioned in the introduction, I love to be silent when I'm writing a blog entry blah blah.

When I do lyrical hiphop and contemporary dances, I stay hushed for a couple of minutes internalizing the lyrics of the song. In doing this, I become good in evoking emotions, eliminating the uncessary moves and executing the vital ones.

WHEN I READ! Reading has been my way of venturing and escaping to another realm. For me, my imagination would be more effective in silence.

When I try to patch things up with a foe or fixing misunderstood situations. Of couse, the 'fixing' part would work out smashingly if one would choose to keep silent and listen. "It's quite true that the more one listens, the more one is listened to! In other words, people vastly appreciate someone who actually listens to what they say." -Owlwings

Lastly, I keep silent when I'm in an argument. I'd rather choose silence because sometimes it is plain useless to argue with foolish people. Answeing and explaining to these type of humans will do nothing but drag you down their pathetic level.

Obvious naman na disagree ako sa sinabi ni Bacon! Silence is never a virtue of fools! Wisdom comes down to knowing when to speak up and when to shup up.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all the doubt."
-Abraham Lincoln.

A new horizon.

2009-01-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

Life is too short.
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
Laugh when you can and apologize when you should
Let go of what you can't change
Love deeply and learn how to forgive quickly
Life is too short to be unhappy
You have to take the good out of the bad
To smile when you're sad
Learn from your mistakes and never regret
People change and there's nothing you can do about it
Leave the memories as they leave you
Run the race.

Morning Coffee with the Almighty.

2009-01-06T13:53:00.000-08:00

"It was dawn, a perfect time to meet with my Love"

The skies were serene; engulfed thick darkness, the environment was tranquil and the breeze was cool and unruffled. He fixed himself a cup of coffee, went in his room and reflected on what he has been doing.

Frustrated and tired, he's done nothing but run run run. Running from fears, running from hurts running from every single thing that will cause him in pain. Fighting for nothing, craving for nothing, working for nothing and waiting for nothing, he was mystified and misled. All these time he could have gained something dear and significant yet chose to dwell on trivial things that of no eternal upshot.

Almighty one was singing. God was singing songs that this young man's heart seem to have forgotten. Singing songs of hope and love, songs that brought a smile on his face of poignant regrets. Though this boy never departed from the living vine, he never unlocked doors of conversations regarding his hurts. He kept them buried and sealed away from the shining light for he was afraid that God wouldn't spare attention to his affliction. The boy used all the strength he had not to fall apart but unfortunately he did.

It was God's hand that took him from the ground. It was God's love that wrapped him in a cocoon of peace, love that quenched his longing every passing moment and the same love that banished the taunting and concrete shadows of the past. As the conversation went on, the boy's eyes were flooding with tears. He was drowning in inexpressive joy because of the stirring and uplifting promises God vowed. The boy was sheltered under the wings of the almighty far from the reach of painful memoirs. They were soaring on the cool starry sky with hands held and his head near God's chest. It was a dawn of pure joy.

God brought him home and together they had a coffee. It was around 5:30 am and the sun is rising.

"Can I stay here forever?" The boy asked. God smiled and gave him a heartwarming embrace.

The waiting in the woods. PT.2

2009-01-02T17:48:00.000-08:00

Eriol remained on that spot for quite some time now. There were blizzards, scorching heat and gusty winds yet none of those shook his feet, he was determined to wait.

His best friend came out of the blue uttering his apologies. It was uncertain of what he was apologizing for... is it because of pushing Eriol away, is it because he kept ignoring him or is it because he chose pride over him? There were a lot of things to consider, a lot of things to be sorry for. It never surprised me that those factors didn't seem valuable to Eriol, he learned to forgive because of this person. The smallest of details, the smallest of hurts just became so irrelevant.

Little by little his heart began to melt.

"IT'S ENOUGH!" even Eriol was stunned to hear those words come from the deepest part of his heart. Eriol looked on the mirror, a look to remind him of the past. The horrific dreams that kept him in tears were back. The picture of that dreadful past was so vivid that the cries were crystal clear.

Eriol thought: "I never left him... it was HIM who pushed me away!" "He never accepted my apologies, why should i accept his?" By the time his eyes turned red... he paused and prevented anger from reaching the surface for it'll only corrupt his mind again. In fact, he never wanted to feel hatred for this person.

But It's time.

Time to be strong
Time to stop
Time to love myself
Time to stay away from people who did nothing but bring me intense torment.

As stories have its endings.
It's now a complete 360 degree turn
No looking back.

"I don't know where I belong but I'll be moving on. Listen to the song here in my heart, A melody I've start but I will complete. Now I'm done believing you, you don't know what I'm feeling. I'm more than what you've made of me. I followed the voice, you think you gave to me. But now I gotta find my own."

-Listen, Beyonce

A Stroll at Dawn. kwento mode.

2009-01-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

It was never really safe to wander at the streets in this kind of time but for four dancers who crave for unusual, out of this world fun, danger will never be a hindrance.

Dancers they were, dancers who grooved their bodies in the beat of the music technically known as 'life'. They were individuals who were somehow plagued with tremendous boredom, that they decided to gather and start that magical quest for this so called "fun".

These dancers are considered good in their... well considerable fields. They may have diverse dancing styles but they were surely united by this one genuine passion.

After getting their spines tingled by an ever so horrific movie, they got off to their feet and went straight out. Like a confused deer walking and navigating its way through the forest, they kept walking yet heading for an unknown destination. But it wasn't really the destination that mattered... it was the journey.

The span of travel carved authentic and temporary smiles on each one's faces (ay grabe ung isa bibo). The expedition lasted for about (I'm really not sure) an hour and a half but it seemed less that thirty minutes. Time was just so unnocticeably quick.

Resting upon the wide open spaces of a ball arena (court) they showed off their various gifts. No one's able to stop their madness! Their souls were amplifying as the music increases in volume (kala mo kay speaker hay)and as their bodies produce sweat. Spectators were around but it seemed like these dancers were just ignoring the irrelevant factors.

A few minutes later and the sun rose, it spelled end for the dawn adventure. I guess they were able to shake off the excessive boredom after all. Breakfast was so special that the scenario was just an exact replica of a "fear factor eating test" (jookkeee!)

The quest for fun ended without the unusual fun they expected, oh well, they just made the most of the 'fun' they have found anyway.

deviation by reynante.

The waiting in the woods.

2008-12-30T20:19:00.001-08:00

The sun came. It was a lively morning for a boy named Eriol. The Birds were chirping and the melodies they were singing brought music to his ears. The bright blue skies with the warm colors of the sun was truly a captivating scene... It's going to be a fantastic day!

He rode his unicorn towards the forest to play with his two bestfriends. Eriol met trolls, goblins, fairies, pixies, dwarves, leprechauns and many more. He played with these strangers while he waits for his two special friends. After a couple of hours, they came, it seems like they just finished partying with their other comrades. Eriol played with his bestfriends like he's never played with them before; sliding on rainbows, smelling the flowers and swinging on trees. Words were inadequate to convey Eriol's joy.

It was late afternoon. The skies were starting to turn dark. He always thought of the evening as a time for bidding goodbyes. Because of that, he held their hands and carved their names on his heart. He wished for the moon to hide itself and for the stars to vanish forever but it was useless. The entire day he spent seemed hours for time was so unnoticeably swift.

"promise me you'll come back, I'll wait for you tomorrow!" These words came spilling out from his mouth just as tears fell from his eyes.

The three have departed as the moon entered the scene. Eriol arrived home smiling for he decided to reminisce and savor the joyful memoirs. He was reluctant to rest his eyes and drift away in deep slumber, he wanted to play with the good ol' times. But just as stories have its endings, so does his day has to end. The carriage that will bring him to another magical realm called dreamland picked him up and went off.

The sun rose. Excitement and happiness were painted on his face as he performed his morning rituals. He felt this impassive bliss as he rushed to the forest. He ignored every impediment, every stranger and even his new friends for he knew that what he's going for was forever.

He waited on the same spot. Hours and hours have passed but there was no trace of his friends. He tried calling his new friends but unfortunately they were found nowhere. All the joy faded. Out of the painted smiles, his faced turned blue... he was all alone.

It was late afternoon when he decided to serach for them. Eriol found his girl bestfriend having fun with her new friends. She heard Eriol's call but it seems like she simply ignored him. Eriol was in tears asking why could he be replaced by someone so new... someone so unfamiliar. He went to his guy bestfriend to share his burdens. It's better to lose one that to lose both he thought.

"Get out of here my so called bestfriend!" Rage attacked and dragged Eriol out of his friend's house. Confusion plauged his mind wondering what could have gone wrong. He was on his knees begging for an explanation but sadly, he was thrown outside the door.

Though the pain was massive, though they took half of his life with them and though it brought Eriol immense torment, he chose not to dwell on it. All those smiles and sunshines were gone. He found himself alone and troubled. Leprechauns, pixies and fairies cared for him and though it was completely different from the "care" his bestfriends used to give, he accepted in anyway.

Eriol went to the forest waiting on that same spot every morning. He's still waiting in anticipation for the return of his friends. He refused to ponder upon thoughts such as letting go and goodbyes.

A Special Chocolate

2008-12-28T17:10:00.000-08:00

It was 2am in the morning and his eyes were still glowing and lively! He headed towards the fridge to grab and chew on a couple of goodies to pass the time.

A secret door was unlocked! It was a door of steel that leads to a magical realm of sweets. His eyes were caught by mouth watering delicacies that seemed to entice and bind his entire senses. He knew he'd need all of them! There were different flavors, different sizes and different labels all pleasing to his sight and taste. He simply can't get enough!

As he was indulging himself he noticed something's wrong. A few minutes later, he gained consciousness that his ever so special chocolate was missing. "where could it be?" "where could HE be?". In tears, he went after the chocolate. Hours, Days, weeks, months have passed and still he's nowhere.

The other promising goodies were always there and enjoying his stay in coco land. In return, he gave his time and smiles to them as a token of gratitude. Though he's beginning to get used to the idea of not having his special chocolate, he surely wishes for its return.

...

We always crave for chocolate right? But I guess there will be a special chocolate that will make you ignore the others.

deviation by darkixi

"so called"

2008-12-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

so called is simply translated as: incorrectly called.

It was my first day out from that dreadful citadel and this is the biggest challenge I have to overcome so far. Hearing this from someone really dear is indeed painful but what choice do I have? if this is what he really feels... I have to respect that. I just want to say that since the start of our friendship, I had no regrets, the love I gave was true, unconditional and unselfish. When you were down, I made sure I'm there, when you were happy I made sure I'd rejoice with you...

Every time he offends or hurts me, I'd simply forget about it for I'd rather choose to spend happy times with him than with those sad ones. But as every story has its ending I guess this is ours, though I'm still hoping and praying for it to be fixed, the outcome of this situation is all in his hands.

I wasn't prepared to lose him. But I guess I was just an imaginary friend, a so called friend, a so called bestfriend.

As we grow up, we learn that even that one person who wasn't supposed to let you down... probably will.

Please come back.

FREE, Day III at the citadel.

2008-12-19T09:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight's the last.

The agony wasn't really healed, it was only covered.

Anger was simply preventing the anguish to reach the surface, nothing more nothing less. The jar that contains my tears is overflowing! I was screaming!!! crying for help, crying for company!

"Come young man, let's have a chat"

A familiar man invited me for supper. His voice seems to calm my senses, His eyes were shining with love and compassion and as He hold my hands, I felt true comfort.

"What's the problem?"

At first I was totally reluctant to narrate the incidents by detail. I was completely in cold fury, the anger came like a roaring lion panting for blood! I was afraid to admit that I was hurting for if I find tears flowing from my eyes, I'd pity myself. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see myself transparent before Him. My mouth was singing the entire song.p The words began to convey the entire scene, little by little the picture becomes more vivid. Yes, it was awful to portray it again but there's something in Him that made me open up.

"Why is it when I tend to show unconditional love, people won't do the same for me. Why does it have to be so unfair?"

Tears began to fall

All of a sudden, He embraced me. His arms were wrapped so tight that I'd wish for it to last forever. The soul that was covered in ice and was engulfed in darkness was alive again. As tears kept falling, He whispered: "You don't need anyone to tell you that you're special because in my eyes, you already are." I was speechless. Nothing was left but tears... lots and lots of tears.

I took another glimpse on the mirror. It was a hideous monster! I was a hideous monster! It's time to end this!

...
...

I flew with wings of an eagle... away from the citadel... away for good.

STRONGER. day II at the citadel

2008-12-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading my blog lately, you'll know what I'm trying to narrate here.

Taking an evening stroll, I noticed the trees smiling at a very peculiar manner (actually it was more of a grin) the breeze seems to be even more cooler and the voice I mentioned before doesn't bother me anymore. It was breathtaking to walk on the narrow brick road while you feast your eyes on autumn leaves falling from the trees. The moon was up and bright and the stars were just astounding. The environment was a bit odd but it sure is nice.

Buckets and buckets of blood came pouring out of me! After a minute of walking, the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground and bleeding, that captivating portrait turned red! Out of nowhere an arrow suddenly pierced my heart, it was a big shock I didn't see it coming!

"it was from one of my birthday presents" I uttered. I plucked it out and began familiarizing myself with it.

"Damn it! why is it so easy for them to judge me? I am so sick and tired of being accused for something I didn't do!" unbearable and audible words came spilling out from my mouth, words that were the closest to interpret my heart's emotions! I almost drowned for my eyes began to flood with tears.

A huge plague of fire came burning all the anguish away! After the scene, after sweeping the ashes, I stood up with blazing red eyes with tons and tons of unimaginable anger! My heart has been healed by a matter I don't know. I took a glimpse of myself on a mirror floating right next to the pedestal. The mirror was old and made out of gold, it was embedded with floral swirls and is crafted with precious stones. Staring at it surely is captivating.

There I saw a kid with eyes like a phoenix and wings similar to a bat. His heart speaks nothing but anger, VAST anger that can almost cover the skies. It was inconceivable! His stomach craves to devour meat and his soul yearns to burn homes! It's been months since the last time this kid unleashed hell! Again, he found pleasure in immeasurable anger for it is able to terminate all the heartache.

I was desperate to revive the old me, the indestructible, immovable and invulnerable me. There will be a time when even swarms of arrows may come but it will end up shattered, a time when anger will fully consume my spirit and make me totally invincible!

Black Citadel

2008-12-17T16:28:00.001-08:00

I was engulfed in thick darkness.

My wings were like broken glass shattered into pieces, I just can't fly my way out of here. The fragrance of the air tingles my spine, the dead trees brought my eyes amazement, the river was ju... wait a minute, I think I've been here before! The sensation the place brought my flesh reminded me of my old home.

As I explore the strangely familiar ruins, my eyes were caught by a striking pedestal. The structure is destroyed yet the crystals that held its power remained, it might be shattered but its essence sure is vivid. Alongside were more pedestals with labels such as envy, hatred, arrogance and so on.

I paused for a second for I felt my spirit weaken. The glacial plinth solidifies my heart and brings torture to my spirit. I continued walking towards the pedestal. Step by step, little by little, I feel my spirit decay but the power the pedestal has draws me nearer, it simply amuses my flesh that it ignores the agony of my soul.

My attention was caught by a small voice that whispered to my ear. The voice was sweet as cherry and is light as a feather, I guess the delight it brought me is what they call PEACE.

"My Son I love you, please don't" The voice whispered

My soul wanted to head back towards the voice but my flesh surpassed my spirit's craving.

THE PEDESTAL IS ALIVE! All of a sudden I felt its power flow through my veins. As I walk away from it, people seem to flee from me, all of them, it's as if I'm some kind of disease! At first it was painful to see the ones I love turn away but as I watch my bitterness burn and my heart turns to steel, all the anguish vanished. Goodness, I can barely feel anything my body is numb all over!

As I stay here wandering around the citadel, I'm not sure of what will happen. I'm uncertain of how many people will stay and will depart from my life but one thing's clear in my mind; The numbness of my body and soul hinders pain from penetrating in my system.

The Happiest Birthday ever woot!

2008-12-17T15:59:00.000-08:00

We all get to celebrate our birthdays right?
Want to know how mine went?

Georgette and Leslie went to my house last night (Tuesday, November 16, 10pm) so they can greet me at 12:00am personally. After the warm greeting they went home having our refrigerator EMPTY! A few hours later, I saw myself sleeping with a smile painted on my face.

I woke up with 10 messages from my cellphone. Surely I can't recall all of them but some were from yna, janjan, mama mitch, my cousin aleli etc. Sorry if I forgot the rest but you deserve my thanks for it started my day with colors.

After going to the University of The Philippines Lanter Parade (I didn't finish it) I went to see twilight at sm. After the movie and a little shopping, I went to starbucks for a grande mocha frap and for the next 30 minutes, I sat there reading my book. I guess that would be my "celebration" but you know what's cool? I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!

I went to my bestfriend's house to pick up a cd. I got the item, he uttered his greetings then Imma outta there.

My arrival was GRANDIOSE! It was filled with lots and lots of fireworks!

"Wala ka nanamang naitutulong sa bahay!"
"Hihintayin mo pa ba ang ading mo na maghugas! Maghugas ka na senyorito ka nanaman para kang boarder!"

Goodness gracious what an astounding surprise!

I texted my bestfriend about the party going on in my house, of course the impact of the text wouldn't be complete without a few curses. A few hours later my phone rang, it was a message from him!

"Pards yar badshot ka dito sa bahay. galet na galet si papa nabasa ung text mo na puro mura. di ko na nga nabasa eh. wag ka na raw pumunta dito at wag na rin daw akong lumapit sayo."

As usual, I replied with sarcasm (I thought that it wasn't the right time to be emo and cry) "WOW, that's just what i needed thanks a lot!"

My phone rang again...

"ako pinagtatanggol kita dito tas ikaw. amf! bala ka nga! PANIRA KA TALAGA NG BUHAY"

I paused for a second. I felt a knife stab my heart but when the blade sank in, it was unnoticable. Massive anger took place! Anger not for him but for the circumstances! The heartache vanished as hatred began to explode.. I can barely feel anything!

NOW... let's count my birthday presents.

-ever so loving parents
-dearest bestfriend
-
-

darn it, i only got two. I wonder what will happen this Christmas hahaha.. Happy Birthday to me!

A name that starts with the letter "G"

2008-12-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

Despicable behavior, unacceptable attitude, a dreadful image and a horrible outlook towards life define him. Lazy, useless, unreliable, naive, apathetic, ignorant and a handful of negative adjectives elucidate his character. Go ahead and think of the most insensitive person, dress him with a black top, bench boxers, skinny jeans, pony shoes and to top it off, a sony ericsson P900

I guess that is how the crowd portrays this being. They attempt to bring judgment simply by peeking through the windows of his life, unaware of the real deal inside.

A precious, one of the most intricate masterpieces knitted with various gifts and talents, a beautifully crafted specie spiced with different flavors that build up his personality. Intelligent, talented and truly priceless.

While you're reading, he'll turn the lights off, he'll grab your pillow even when you're using it, he won't share his laptop until he's satisfied with what he's doing, he'll call you a plagiarist even when you're not and lastly; he'll call you unusual names you won't imagine. But what makes those awful set of traits pleasant to ones soul? I DON'T KNOW!! It's this impassive bliss, unexplainable, unimaginable. It's that joy difficult to convey.

There are times when he doubts himself. Times when he'd stay in bed wishing to escape from all the life's impediments. strive forward!

Unfold your wings, soar up high in the clouds, reach for the skies.

Believe in yourself

You are special

The Last 'GOODBYE

2008-12-11T08:58:00.000-08:00

To The "bestest" bestfriend who will NEVER be replaced.

She can write a whole book about me and I can do the same.When I hear the word love, She appears right in my mind next to God. We have similar heartbeat, similar dreams and similar outlook, other people say we even look alike.She's just everything to me!

She'd write me poems.She'd be at my classroom during recess with snacks on her bag.She'd wait for me until after class and we'd go lunch together.She'd always remind me of taking my meals on time.She'd always call and check on me if I'm doing well.She'd sing to me songs (at kahit ngayon wala pang gumagawa sakin nito ).We'd always see each other after every activity yet she never gets tired of me. We'd talk on the phone for hours and even though she's sleepy, I can still sense her listening ears.She'd always make me feel loved.

She means everything to me.

Last night, I texted her about putting an end to our relationship (bestfriends). She admitted that she cannot bring the old intimacy back for there's this awkwardness between us.

In her text messages she wrote:

"I don't know what to say basta thank you for that precious friendship we had... sana someday makatagpo ka ng isang tao na makakapagpasaya sayo at di ka iiwan. Wag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo, kumain ka lagi sa oras para hindi umatake yung ulcer mo. Godbless. I'll miss everything."

What breaks my heart is that as she bids her goodbye, she still reminded me of how she cared and of how I am valuable to her. No one in my life have ever done such things to me. Though I consider people 'bestfriends NO ONE COULD EVER REPLACE HER.

She means everything to me.How I wish I can hug you once again. I wish we could have taken too many pictures.. so I'll have something to ugghh nevermind

If there will ever be a person able to take her place, I pray that it'll be soon. ILoveYou

Wandering Hearts and painted smiles.

2008-12-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

Sitting on the rooftop, dreaming of a perfect Christmas, gazing on the stars, you reluctantly break the door of sealed memories. The cool breeze whispers at your ear, below are the children singing oh can you hear? As the hour passes, memoirs begin to become more vivid as it surfaces your conscious mind. Your eyes feast on shimmering lights that are clothed with diverse colors and shine... one hour of reflection and boom, the past has been dug up from the grave. It's alive and breathing.

The season's ambiance is truly grandiose but what good would it be to a man who finds his heart lost in the cold streets?

Amidst the glacial nights, lovers share their warmth with their ever so precious hugs and kisses. Oh you can almost sense that sweet tenderness in their midst. You'd witness friends uttering words of endearment, not forgetting nor hesitating to convey their love towards their comrades. No one seems to care, no one seems to listen, as long as you're smiling as long as you're laughing the friends you know are found nowhere.

They'd expect you to open up but wouldn't it be nicer if they would just inquire behind those smiles? wouldn't it be astounding if one would express his or her love for you or have someone who's able to notice that behind those painted smiles is the HELL you carry.

A simple yet thoughtful combination of the finest words from that person who's dear to you can surely pick you up from that cold floor of loneliness.

You wait for initiatives... still nothing. It's either your heart has wandered far off, you're just so good at smiling or they simply don't care.

Some people are just so good at pretending they can deceive you about their true condition.

Some just feel more loved when people ask behind their smiles questions fit for sad people.

It's Christmas... show REAL love.

Doors and Walls

2008-12-08T16:09:00.000-08:00

If a stranger came at your doorstep
will you open the door and let him in?

You hardly know anything about him
but he sure brings extraordinary excitement.

Your heart's protected by a huge wall made up of lessons
which you have acquired from your dreadful battles.
Wardens of anger, fear and pride exist to defend it from intruders
and sudden flares of emotion.

Indeed you are cautious.
Afraid to get hurt, afraid to cry for the wrong and unworthy person
and mostly, afraid to get vulnerable.

"If I unlock my door, will he stay?"
"If he does, for how long?"
"If he sees the real me, will he accept it?"
"what if he only wants to take a glimpse and not really enter?"

The ever so awful ghost of the past haunts you again. The questions that build up your evening nightmares reappears and inquires for the second time.

Now matter how long you keep this up or avoid it, it's inevitable! There will be a point when you'll have no choice but to come up with a decision.

Be wise.

Pretense.

2008-12-06T18:46:00.000-08:00

How far will your sight take you?

Are they able to see through your blinding mask?

No one bothers to ask... No one seems to care... as long as they see you happy, strong and outgoing they wouldn't mind. Sometimes it feels much better if behind all your laughter someone will ask you "are you really okay?". One morning your eyes opened and suddenly your heart felt cold. The warmth, the fire that keeps you alive went out.

You hear your master's voice but you hide yourself because of your shameful face. You can really use a shoulder to pour your heart out right now, unfortunately, no one's there. No one seem to mind at all. It's either they don't care or they don't really know... come on, you're wearing your mask remember?

You can taste your soul long and hunger for your first love... but...

Face the fact!

You can't live all by yourself
This life is not meant to be played individually
Don't depart from the vine!
and lastly...
You can't survive without Him.

It's that choice.

2008-12-04T18:40:00.001-08:00

If mind is always over matter, is the mind powerful enough to control the heart?

The bottom line of the situation has always been obvious; the person you love doesn't love you anymore. They say that people always have a choice, a choice whether to be happy or to stay in agony. This might sound weird but have you ever experienced wanting to banish the feelings but then there's something in you that you can't explain and this 'something' stops you from totally letting go? A certain "something" that keeps on pulling your leg, hinders you from being free and stops you from being happy.

You always lie to yourself saying: "I'm ok, she's out of my life" but when your music airs, there seems to be an invisible, invulnerable knife stabbing your heart. How you'd wish that you're numb! You can't deny the fact that you're still affected and that your heart has never been healed completely. When you see lovers enjoying the breeze of Christmas, when you see shimmering lights everywhere, tears begin to fall from your eyes unexpectedly. Come on! you can't even quit yourself from texting her. When she sends a reply, your heart jumps in anticipation! The cup of your heart just overflows with so much aching.

I remember reading Neru's blog and the thought that was embossed in my mind was, "why insist, why persist, when you have alternatives" Well... though there are "alternatives" they may not be as good as the one we desire.

"What is wrong with me?!"
"Why can't I stop this?"
"How long will I wait?!"

Answer? You can!

You just don't want to

You just won't accept the fact.

Remember when you were just a little boy and was given a taste of your first antibiotic? How about your first biogesic(did I spell it right)? It was awful right? the taste? By the time you attempted to swallow it, you spitted it out! Surprisingly, several months have passed and you've been able to get used to it. For a little kid it was an achievement!

It's when you've decided to endure the awful taste to once and for all END intensifying pain.

Your average love life.

2008-11-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

It was 2 years ago when I fell in love with my best friend. It was as wonderful as the sun's afterglow with the different colors of the spectrum, words would be inadequate to convey the beauty of the love we had. Surely the risk of having our friendship grow into something more was massive. People say that once the relationship has ended, it's difficult to bring the old times back.

Both of us weren't sure about how our relationship would end, we were just enjoying the cool breeze that encloses us, having love our warmth.

All my life, she's been nothing but the best.

Unfortunately, we broke up, it was because of some reason totally complicated to explain. I could say that breaking up with her would be one of the worst decisions I HAVE EVER MADE. Until now I never really moved on... always wishing that there will be a time when she'll be knocking at the door of my heart again.

We tried to be bestfriends again, calling each other "bez" and sharing details about our lives. She has her new boyfriend and I'm busy with the church's ministries. Though we still keep in touch (like 1 text message in a month) and do regular bestfriend routines, there's something in her or in me that invites an awkward feeling. I believe that there's no hope of having it fixed. Sadly, I have to accept the fact that I lost her.

It think it's deja vu because the same situation seems to occur. I'm scared and bothered because I'm afraid to lose a precious person in my life. *sighs

Having one's friendship grow into something more sure is risky. You should keep on thinking and praying about it because if you push it further you might not be able to handle the consequences.

Are you willing to lose the friendship for the love?

Steering Wheel

2008-11-19T18:47:00.000-08:00

God promised to be our greatest provider but sometimes, when people are totally out of cash, they find it difficult to TOTALLY depend on God.

Well, frankly speaking, for other people, it is really difficult to put their trust on a spirit who though promises overflowing blessings still is invisible. If your prayer request doesn't come on time, you become impatient and instead of letting God handle the situation, you begin to take over. Though he told you to quit worrying, day and night you still think of ways of obtaining revenue. You keep on saying: "God, I love you, I trust you" but when the problem strikes, "Lord, hold on a sec, I think I know how to fix it."

When the moon and the stars are up you'll pray: "Lord, please help me, I trust in you" but when the sun shines you'll say: "Lord, I'm feeling strong, I think I can take it from here."

Sometimes, when people aren't deeply inclined to God's word, they tend to take diverse paths. Some will choose immoral ways just to earn money and though the Holy Spirit convicts them, they'll choose not to dwell in it. It's like saying: "Come on, just let me pay my debts and I'll be back at you!"

People fail to realize that God too has emotions. God is always willing and able to help us. Even if we say to him "I trust you" yet is opposite to what we act, it hurts God. I mean, come on, the heart weighs more than the words we utter. Now, when people choose wrong ways of gaining money, it's sin and it automatically separates them from God's love. What hurts in that situation is that though conviction is upon them, they would rather choose money in the expense of God. An object in exchange for God's love? Now go ahead, say "Ouch"

God doesn't always answer prayers. When He says no, it means that He has something better for us because for Him, we deserve nothing but the best.

God is never in a hurry, but He's always on time.

MEMOIRS.

2008-11-10T15:05:00.000-08:00

I cleaned my closet this afternoon and saw this poem given to me by a very special person. It seems like it was last summer... a summer morning with the bright sun and various smiles on faces. Everything was just like yesterday.

I guess it's inevitable to have regrets. Letting her go seems to be one of the awful mistakes I have made. Memories are memories, you can have them as long as you'd like, but bear in mind that no matter how long you hold on, there will come a time when the only option left is to let go.

More than wonderful

2008-11-05T18:28:00.000-08:00

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit."
-Psalms 34:18

When you're in distress, you seek comfort from your friends. You text them, you call them, you try to use every medium of communication simply to share them your burdens. When they don't return your calls or give you answers you don't want to hear, you harbor bitterness in your heart. When their ears and hearts aren't around you, you pity and condemn yourself.

We often forget the comfort and joy the one above can give us. We reason out "mas maganda pag friends dahil nakikita mo" but the peace God offers is far more different and far more wonderful than the laughter friends can give us. Another reason why unbelievers doubt his presence is because they never tried it.

I can say that the bible is like a compliation of God's promises just like the scripture quoted above. God is a God who never breaks his promise. What he said, he does, what he promised, he fulfills. When he said he'll comfort you... he really means it.

ONE MISSED CALL (horror movie?).. thoughts of a struggling individual.

2008-11-05T16:09:00.000-08:00

I was browsing the text messages in my cellphone this morning and I saw so many things that gave me the reason to cry. Awwww..

Cellphones are really handy. I mean, you can text and call people, you can make them feel comfortable when they're all by themselves and most importantly you can share the gospel through this piece of tech. In fact, manufacturers have already developed more function and features for cellular phones. Functions may vary depending upon the user's "trip". There are games, music stores, chat boxes, emails and many more. But who would have thought that this work of science can be a torturing machine?

Yes, it can bring us pain! It's like when you broke up with your girlfriend, moved on, browsed your phone and again felt the agony of yesterday. All those sweet words that once made your heart melt are now breaking it again. You stare at the ceiling and thought: "why am I hurting myself?" you attempted to delete everything but you failed 'coz those are the only memories left. All of a sudden you feel like all the love you have for her that once was lost, is now regenerating. How you wish you can slap all the messages on her face... "Don't you remember any of this?" you wished such because you're hoping that she would care. You're hoping that everything would be back to the way it was before. You kept on browsing the messages, from those tasty, sugar-coated phrases down to the ones where the fight started.

As you peruse the messages you begin to wonder "who started it? was it completely my fault? what must I do to fix this" In tears, you saw your pride conceiving anger and gave birth to something more. You're confused and decided not to remove your grip on your stubborn pride. You knew that it took him so much sincerity and courage to apologize yet you ignored that. "Sorry, that's it?" came out from you...
You saw your fault; you were shocked to see your comrade fleeing from you.
The tables have turned, now, it's YOU who's asking for forgiveness. "What did I do to deserve this?" you uttered. Someone came to the picture and said: "let go, it's not worth it", "NO!! I promised God not to give up" you replied. You kept your mouth shut for 24 hours and began to fix the mess.

It was too late! or is it? you have no idea about it being fixed. You also came to the point where you had no choice but to give up.

After reading, a ball fell on your head and the ball seemed to wake you up. You find yourself laughing... "why am I being bothered by this? I already moved on right? haha"

These kind text messages that are associated with painful memories can simply be one heck of a tool for making us cry. Of course, deleting and completely moving on from the incident depends on the person. Some people are just fond of resenting and likes getting hurt for the ones they love. (guilty!)

Moving on (which includes the deletion of messages) is a choice. The one who left you didn't take that freedom you have. You can always choose to forget about all the painful past. Yes, it's difficult but eventually TIME HEALS EVERYTHING... seriously! You know the reason why it seems so slow for your wound to heal is because you're still scratching it. Leave it alone! focus on other things. Be happy.

Taste your words before you utter.

2008-11-03T23:13:00.000-08:00

Anyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone can stand up to it.

You exert effort in fixing a broken relationship while your companion doesn't mind at all. You can't sleep, you can't do your tasks well, yes you smile but deep inside you harbor pain and bitterness. You look at the pictures you stored, pictures that tell your happy memoirs with your friend. You end up crying while your partner enjoys his life. Several days have passed and you still mourn. You keep on shouting "I HAVE LOST MY HALF", "He said he'd never leave! why this?" you thought you've moved on yet you knew that you're kidding yourself. Admit it! you were hoping that he would return. You left your door open but none came.

A couple of days have passed... you feel better... you feel renewed. You realized that he was just too crafty when it comes to words. He was just driven by the waves of emotion... had nothing to say but "YOU'RE IMPORTANT". It was thoughtless! It wasn't heartfelt! It was totally different from what he acts.

More days have passed and now you feel completely better. You try to apply the lesson that you have learned. You inject thoughts in your mind saying that "I'LL NEVER BE LIKE HIM" and that you would be a better friend. To taste your words and make sure it comes from your heart.

BE WISE...
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY, WHO WILL?
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF QUIT FROM BEING A MARTYR, WHO WILL?

You're special.

Astig pag English! -duh

2008-11-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

"U may Gad,, madafaka!!! betch..!" All the "dota boys" shouting the same phrase over and over again...

I went to an internet cafe this afternoon just to update my online accounts. As I entered the cafe, I felt uneasy because of the loud voices that seem to swallow the entire room. Meanwhile, curiosity entered my mind as I opened a friend's profile. Her shoutout goes like...

".'+thE lhadY of dOu6z is nOw mOvin6 on.. fUck to oL of thOse fUcking biTchinesS asShoLes BLOODZ!!! aRe u 6onNa fYt!!?? bUt w8.. mAh luV owNs mEh.. nO onE cAn repLaCe him,'+ za n6a dOu6z jaN.. jOin kaU sa grUp kO.."
http://profiles.friendster.com/37411993

AHUH?? So now people evolved in terms of cursing? From the legacy of the "putang ina mo" now comes "fuck", "bitch", "asshole" and many more.

So I went back home and sat on the couch with nothing to do. Bored, I browsed the messages of my brother's cellphone (sorry). I saw a message that says "Join the maddafackah clan... to join pls.. blah... bla" I was like WHOA! children use this kind of language?

They say that as long as you know how to speak in english even if you're just a kid or you're poor, people will never laugh at you. I don't know, maybe because lifestyle is nothing compared to intelligence (you can be a millionaire and still be a dumbass). And, according to most people, the standard of being an intellect is based on the language one is using. On how well you communicate using the english language. I guess some people are just born stupid that they keep on speaking or cursing in english yet they are not able to define the words they are using.

???: elay, pakyu ka ba? mga bobo at pulubi lang ang nagmumura ng "PUTA" what an asshole!
elay: bobo ka ba? nagmumura ka rin noh! iniienglish mo lang!!
(uy peace tau ha. lab u!)

"since it's cool to speak in english, I'll do it... I don't care about the meaning, order of words, the pronunciation or even the grammar, it still sounds cool anyway!"

When one chooses to leave

2008-11-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

No one can say: "I had no choice" for in every circumstance we're at, we are given the freedom to select between several options.

A dog is considered man's best friend. As I watched my dog this morning I saw ironies which I can relate. My dog loves to bite things; shoes, flip-flops, umbrellas even the tires of my dad's motorcycle. Every time I saw him ruining my stuff, I'd grab a stick and hit him on the head (pretty evil eh). Unlike other pet lovers, I don't take my dog for a walk because... I don't know... I just don't feel like doing it. Sometimes, when I'm in charge of feeding him laziness will strike me.

My dog sleeps on our porch so when I wash my shoes, water will flood his bed. He ends up soaking yet I never bother to dry him, clean his cage, give him blanket nor show a little TLC.

What struck me is that in spite all the terrible things I've done to him, when I go home he'd still welcome me, licking my pants, my arms, reaching his arm to my bag etc. I end up thinking "after all those nasty things I did, why does he still love me? Truly he doesn't deserve me and he has the freedom to leave. WHY DOES HE KEEP ON WELCOMING ME BACK?"

I tried to place myself on the dog's shoes and thought of a person who I love very much. Images began to clear up until I saw his face...

As I recall all my hardships and sacrifices, his response, the pain he caused me, everything.. I wonder... what is this thing that always kept me praying and caring for him? I ignored the freedom of choice either to be happy or to be in agony. I don't know, I guess I was just focused in giving the best of me.

I guess a time will come when you'll be tired of staying and crying. Maybe it's time to consider the option that most people neglect.

Maybe it's time to leave for good..

Some people are just soo darn good in using words. Words and phrases that can make you feel valued. Lines like "I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU" and "FRIENDS FOREVER" can really turn an intelligent person stupid.

dalawang uri ng tao.

2008-10-31T23:12:00.000-07:00

Pag spiritual maturity ang pinaguusapan may dalawang uri ng tao.

UNA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"patutunayan ko sa kanilang mali sila, I will always seek God so that he can mold and teach me more!"

IKALAWA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"ay ganun ah, edi hindi na lang ako magbabago tutal wala naman ng pag-asa.."

Hindi lahat ng tao ma eencourage na magbago sa ganyang uri ng pananalita. There's no such thing as "one size fits all"! There are people who seem to be brave and strong but are vulnerable when it comes to such. People who may seem to care less and are ignorant but with tears that easily fall.

Have you ever had the feeling of striving for something (I don't know... say... change! and that you know you're changing) until all of a sudden a person tells you that you're hopeless; that you're causing other people to fall. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW AWFUL IT FEELS? DO YOU???

I am not pointing out any names here... This goes for everybody.

That's all

Godbless.

Pards.

2008-10-30T00:59:00.001-07:00

Where oh, friend is thy true face, the one I used to know,
The one that used to laugh with me, that helped me learn to grow?
Why now have we turned away from all those things we shared,
Can time not leave a simple memory or moment unimpaired?

I always tried to reach out and give you the best part of me,
Now it seems I’ve failed as you turn away from me and flee.
What did I do, how can I make it right, this apparent thing,
Which caused you to throw our closeness away and to sorrow bring.

I am me, that’s all I am, I can’t be anything more,
You liked me this way once, remember that, before you leave my door.
And if you go, I’ll cry for you and all you’ve thrown away,
But through the pain I’ll always wish we could go back to yesterday.

-L.A.K.

An awesome date with God. ^_^

2008-10-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

My devotion this morning was totally magnificent!

I have been stressed because of the problems that were straddled on my back these past weeks. After I had my morning devotion, everything (my worries, fears, troubles etc) drifted away. It’s utterly complicated to explicate that the God who controls everything in this world can still find time to spend with me. I am so filled with his love... all I want to do is worship Him all day!

I held on to God’s promise that He will never leave nor forsake me. I am sure that in all my sufferings, He is with me saying: “Let me carry you my child” Also, I believe that there are reasons and lessons to be revealed every time we face such.

On my other blog, a reader deemed that I am as ignorant as blah blah... God vs. No God (just read it, http://elayisametaphor.wordpress.com) I don't know... I was quite sad at first but I don't mind people saying that anymore. I mean, even if they do believe or not, they can never alter the fact that sooner or later they will meet God.

Anyway, right now I'm just filled with the presence of the Holy Ghost. I am overwhelmed with His unfailing love... How I pray that you... yes YOU! can feel this too.

-END-

P.S. I'm currently listening to "we fall down (instrumental)" by Chris Tomlin... Looove it.

PROTECTION OF SOURCES: A LAW OR AN OBLIGATION

2008-09-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

This is the introduction I wrote for me and my partner's term paper. It took me about half an hour to put the ideas together.. hindi ko pa xa naiipproofread baka may grmmatical flaw rush kasi eh.. I'm the guy wearin yellow, the guy in red is my partner

At the CoC Library

“Stories do not grow on trees. They have to be wrenched out of reluctant and secretive society.” –Paul foot

News is absolutely essential in a community. It involves the masses; people of all diverse lifestyles and social status. We must accept the fact that news will affect and alter our lives in a certain aspect. The news provokes the listeners, audience and readers to take part and have an opinion towards the issues that matter. it is able to persuade or influence the public in terms of thinking and living. Another fact is that the news helps us to be intact with current occurrences within the premises of the country. Without the facts the news supply us, we will all be living in a world where deception, dishonesty and confusion are inevitable.

Bottom line is, whether we like it or not, we cannot rebuff the fact that news is definitely vital. News must always be certain, accurate, valid, compelling and truthful. The journalist must be able to sustain and support the story he or she wrote. The story is considered invalid if of course, the reporter is incapable of supporting and justifying it.

Let us say that a news reporter is investigating and developing a story about a rape case. Being a responsible newsman, he should never be contented with blotters and other mediums that are obviously shallow. A responsible journalist must uncover and go beyond the shallow details to find deeper sources. Sources or informants are persons who posses important and richly valued knowledge about the particular case.

Sources are indeed fundamental to journalists when it comes to developing a massive, striking, revealing and eye-opening story. Writers tend to avoid limited and narrow truths for such aspects decreases a person’s interest. Therefore, they explore and dig the real content behind the messages.

Sources indeed hold sensitive information (it depends on the situation) that if made known, it can alter the flow of situation. In fact, the validity of an essential truth that may surface will change the society itself. There the impediment begins. I

n intricate situation like these, witnesses are threatened, abused and are harassed by suspects. Because of this they become reluctant to impart their knowledge about the situation, causing it to remain as a mystery.

The confidentiality of a witness is a major issue in interviews especially if the public’s welfare is at stake. Question is; where does the protection of such sources rely: the law or the journalist himself? Laws have been established to ensure the safety of valued informants, but are these decrees to general, to specific or simply useless?

Truth shall always prevail. It is a piece that will complete the puzzle of confusion, A key that will unlock and open a broader and immense perception and a potent agent that will transform the society’s way of stimulating thoughts. Lastly, it is able to destroy, establish or reestablish a founded institution.

The public has the right to be informed especially if their welfare is concerned. But, how will they be aware or gain consciousness if they eye-opener is held back by an abusive superior or person? If we will take another look on a different angle, how will the informant speak up when he or she isn’t confident about his safety as a witness?

The researchers would like to give emphasis and once again mention the puzzling question: Does the protection of witnesses, sources and informants rely on the law, or is it an obligation for the journalist? Both sides have consequences difficult to fathom, they both have fated aspects (both good and bad) that are completely foreseeable. But which of these two have the heavier and deeper side? One must outweigh the other.

8th Month In Blogging

2008-07-27T17:54:00.000-07:00

parang wala lang haha.. I've been busy with a lot of things this past week and I hardly have the chance to update my blog..

ME AND GARRY

Of course, my monthly celebration is quite important for me. Last Sunday, I spent it with two of my bestfriends haha.. (Busy kasi ung dalawa pa, isang may tribe at isang may review haha)

ME AND DIAN

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK OH!

2008-06-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

"Si Elay suplado", "Si Elay masungit", "Si Elay malakas mambara", "nakakatakot xa kausapin".. These are just the four most common feedback that I've been receiving for the past weeks. I know that there's no reason for me to explain myself about this matter but I think it's getting a little out of hand.

Actually that is the probable reason why I left the ushering ministry(BELIEVE IT OR NOT I WAS ONCE PART OF THAT [can you imagine me smiling at people, shaking their hands politely?]).. I don't know, I guess it isn't my nature to smile at strangers. With the way I stare.. well, God gave me this eyes and I don't know why the heck I look at people like this. You see, people often judge me based on their first impressions. Go ahead and ask my friends, I believe that what they'll say about me will surely contradict the impressions that these people are throwing at me.

To be honest I am not friendly. I don't really care if people don't like me and stuff, I mean the thing is do I like them? But, on the plus side once a person becomes my friend I will value him or her with all my heart. Just so you know, it is totally difficult for me to lose a friend, it's as if a portion or an organ in my body had stopped functioning (that is how precious friends are to me).

One night I texted this guy in our church then, blah blah blah the conversation began. I remember him told me: "ikaw masungit ka raw ah" then I replied "says who", he said: "marami sila eh" ... .. ... after several justifications.. I told him: "I am building a wall not to keep people away but to see who's willing to break it and stay". The funny thing is I used to ignore this guy a lot but now we're always laughing together.

I can name hundreds of people who at first thought I am rude and now they're the ones who totally enjoy my company. Yes I'm frank but not rude.

Bottom line..

Before you judge me, spend time with me first. In knowing me you don't need your eyes what you need is your heart. My heart still has a room for lots of friends, who knows you might be one of them.

-elay.

DIFFICULTY IN UNDERSTANDING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE -this must be the problem

2008-05-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

Pedestrian Crossing, No Jaywalking, No parking, and my favorite: No Vandalism. As a college student, these are the signs I encounter almost everyday, every time I travel. Rules like these may not be as serious as "keep away blah blah volts" but these simple ones help in maintaining peace and order in our society.

During my enrollment, I had the chance to explore the premises of my University together with Amabelle. Our college has its building few blocks from the main building, and because most of our academic affairs take place in our college, we rarely have the chance to roam around the main campus.

I checked out the comfort room right next to the university canteen and boy! it's quite as fancy as SM's haha, though there's this itsy bitsy problem: There were scribbles on its walls.

I believe that the administration didn't lack in any reminder especially the part of prohibiting vandalism. I MEAN DUH, JUST CHECK THE PIC --->

I was disappointed because seeing a scribble like that on a developing comfort room is a sign that one of the students lack in self discipline. I know that the vandal isn't a big deal but the principle of disobedience behind that incident is. I mean, violating a simple rule? (Again I'm not saying that all the activists are like the person who did this). Did the suspect simply ignore the sign just to express his angst towards the government? Wasn't he able to understand plain English? or was he just simply being "pasaway"? If we can't submit to rules as simple as those, how are we going to obey the bigger ones? those that contain larger consequences.

I know that what he wrote really does make sense but the way he expressed it bothers me. How uncivilized! I bet that the University wouldn't reach it's full potential of being developed with students like these.

Right Heart; WRONG PRINCIPLES.

2008-04-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This entry might be difficult for unbelievers to understand

I can still remember my first time when I was exposed in this truth, I was shocked of how the bible can relate activists and Antichrists. Activists are those who desire to serve the nation, to fight for complete democracy, to claim fair judgment, fair treatment, and a whole lot more. Antichrists on other hand, are those who completely violate the laws of the bible, and those who practice actions that contradict biblical ethics.

My motive in writing this, is not to convince an activist to let go of his organization. The decision is up to you. My objective is to at least open the eyes of Christians who are involved in forms activism. If you are to browse my previous entries, you will notice other entries pertaining this matter. Hmm.. I guess this is my burden for I used to be an activist as well. By God's mercy, he revealed to me the wrong principles which then, I thought was right.

If we are to look in a rebel's heart, we can see a desire burning in that individual to serve the nation. But what makes an activist an Antichrist?

Let every soul be subject to the GOVERNING AUTHORITIES, For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. -Romans 13:1-2

There are lots and lots of scriptures in the bible, that talk about complete submission. You might say, The president is not a good president, the leader is corrupt, etc etc. Well, it says in the scripture that AUTHORITIES THAT EXIST ARE APPOINTED BY GOD. It doesn't say that the good leaders are the only ones appointed by God, but ALL -even the corrupt ones.

Activism makes us resist the authorities, resisting makes us violate the laws of the bible thus, we become Antichrists. John Bevere said: "What caused Lucifer to fall? Rebellion. What caused Adam to fall? Rebellion.

The only time we disobey authorities is when they are giving us commands that contradict the bible itself.

Activists aren't bad people. In fact, they have the heart to serve the nation. We cannot deny that there is a wrong flow in our society, the irregularities that can be found are those that produce activists. But, if you're a Christian, the choice is still yours whether you obey the law of God, or you stick to the ethics of the society. Whether you like it or not, you have to a stand!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

If you would love to obtain more knowledge in this matter, I suggest that you purchase the book
UNDERCOVER by John Bevere.
contact me: 09295967492 or 2715115

Times of Testing

2008-04-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

UNTIL THE TIME CAME TO FULFILL HIS WORD, THE LORD TESTED JOSEPH'S
CHARACTER. (PSALM 105:19 NLT)

It's hard to watch God blessing other people while you're struggling to get by. But before you throw a strop and say 'it's so unfair!' remember, it's just God's calendar, your time will come. His faith was tested by the massive promises God gave him. You can almost hear the voices in his head whispering: 'I thought your dream said you were supposed to be sitting on a throne. What are you doing sat here in prison then? God doesn't care about you.' But Joseph never gave in to negativity. He held on to those dreams. He knew God doesn't change His mind, so he made sure he didn't change his!

When you follow where God leads you can find yourself in the weirdest places, places that don't always seem like they are going to be good places. But there's always a reason. God told the prophet Elijah to go and hide himself in a dusty ravine by a brook where his only friends were birds (1 Kings 17:3). Only later was the importance of this time revealed.

This time hidden away with God focused him on the challenge ahead, defeating a twisted queen and her evil priests. Listen: 'The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right' (Psalm 84:11 NLT). His delays are not denials. He's never said anything He couldn't back up or promised anything He wouldn't deliver. So try thinking a bit less about your surroundings and a bit more about the Word God has given you!

-EMN.

SCARCED!

2008-03-06T04:48:00.000-08:00

It was wednesday night, and we (neil, rachel, mariz, kim, andrew, and me) were discussing spine chilling ghost stories. We started talking around 2 or 3 if im not mistaken, and ended at 8!

Back then I was undergoing MAJOR SHORTAGE! I mean they went to this store to buy something to eat, me, on the other hand stayed at the table having nothing. My money was so exact that i cannot afford to lose even a single centavo, why? cause if I loose any, I won't be able to go home. GRABE!

Fortunately, I was able to reach home safe and sound,, hungry though. ahhahaha

Don't want to experience scarcity again!

Don't just eat..

2008-03-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

Don't be like other people who are easily persuaded by the thoughts of whoever is speaking in front. Don't just swallow the food, chew it first. There might be some ingredients dangerous to penetrate in your system.

thoughts from prof jomar canega.

THE IMMEASURABLE STRENGTH.

2008-02-28T03:15:00.001-08:00

daaaamn.. With regards to what happened this afternoon, I put all my praises to the PUPians who didn't let any element hinder them from freely quenching their thirst for truth. As a matter of fact, Lozada didn't give the whole truth, it was just a glimpse.

Nowadays, Lozada is the most controversial person . Hearing him speak is unquestionably priceless! The significance of his presence is worth fighting for since personalities like him sustain us light in this dark and cruel world. I mean, THE MAIN GATE, vehicles, security guards, AND EVEN BOMB THREATS.. wouldn't give PUPians fear, for the hope Lozada gives them is too big for any wall of threat to handle.

ALL OF YOU WERE GREAT.. ALL INDIVIDUALS WHO TOOK PART IN THE SEARCH FOR TRUTH.

My first blog deletion..

2008-01-31T03:49:00.001-08:00

Ginawa ko yun dahil inutusan ako, hindi dahil ginusto ko.

URSULA!! partII

2008-01-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

The action mala epic story continues!! Anu na nga ba ang nangyare sa isang never ending battle against evilgenius URSULA!! ang pakikipagtuos ng mga isda ng VeejaywanwanEN...!!!

One sunny afternoon; a typical day for the fishes in the sea academy. Vemet, a big democratic fish has decided to pursue the petition for URSULA, and are planning with Kwizel, Emgee together with the class officers. Their conversation was really hot and they're really considering Ursula's power.. and do you know what power She posses? THE POWER TO DESTROY FUTURE!! yes! she can destroy any fish's future.. with a single failing mark from her pen of doom.. nakuuuu...

Having Ursula petitioned will have a huge impact on her credibility.. WHICH WILL get her mad and perform a counter attack on the fishes. (shhheeek.. change topic).. Emgee's really pissed because there's this errand whammy.. este Ursula asked her to do.. funny as it may seem she keeps on committing errors.. and at the same time, emgee is repeating the same process over and over until she meets perfection...that's what Ursula asks.. perfection! kawawang fishda.

On the other hand, Dwastine, wonaldo, meyshel, restel, and company, are debating for what statement should be placed on the back of the shirt they're planning to produce. "Watchdogs, aw aw aw" said restel... wala lang.. nakakatawa..

So... the fishes, are attempting to consult their queen fevvrey for counseling.

Till next time..

-metaphor

URSULA!!!

2008-01-22T15:02:00.000-08:00

Ursula is an antagonist from Disney's Little Mermaid. Surprisingly, it amazes me that creatures of such really exist, and take note; THEY EVEN WALK!!

In a school, there are different kinds of fish; a wannabe, a know it all, a gossiper, a backstabber, and many more. But when Ursula came in their lives, they have united against this ultimate living nightmare again, take note; this so-called "nightmare" only happens every Tuesday morning. Now, believe it or not the fishes in this school are really pursued in their field of education, doing anything to uplift their grades.serious huh? Sadly, Ursula is one of their mentors... By the way she turned up to be one of the highly paid sea creatures among the whole sea academy. Ursula is not more that 5,1 very skinny, and likes to wear sleeveless octopus linen, and skinny jogging pants. Can you imagine a skinny old person wearing those sea clothes?

Ursula is really fund of bragging her accomplishments in life. Example; she keeps on telling her fishes that her son; baby ursula, manages to obtain 1000 shells as his daily allowance, and another thing; Ursula's cave is soooo big and full of expensive and imported furniture. That's what Ursula keeps on telling her little fishes. She is also a business woman, she sells fish cards, raffle tickets, and a WHOLE LOT MORE.

Ursula teaches one of the most famous sea dances in the whole sea kingdom. Such dances are called, "ta ta", "meggai", "chwing" and a lot more.. Oh I almost forgot, she even instructs: "varneis". She (ursula) is unquestionably talented EXCEPT, her attitude seem to cover her greatness causing her students to think of her more deeper than an average antagonist; an EVILGENIUS!

Now what makes her an EVILGENIUS? well she doesn't consider explanations nor apologies, she's unlawful, she's unfair, she's fund of mocking people like he did with a fish named VEMET. Just any dim-witted thing you can imagine... think of her.

"Emgee" is one of the school's top. Unfortunately, she's the chosen assistant of Ursula and do you know what that means? Infinite errands, never-ending sermons, are the things she usually asks Emgee to perform having her energy overused, misused, and abused. Emgee is a little loquacious and that she makes her fellow fish blog-like, you know telling them all sorts of stories.

One time Emgee told Dwastine, Vemet, Nilay, Anuel, Sarlon, Darmi, Goy, and Go, her encounter with Ursula, and her story really made her fellow fishes burn in anger. Right now, the fishes are attempting to submit a petition for Ursula, and this time they are really serious.

That ends my story for now... I mean I still have to review for my Com103. Besides, I'm still after the story. sinusubaybayan ko pa.

-metaphor

BUDDIES "a journalist's story"

2008-01-19T07:28:00.000-08:00

"During my early years in journalistic affairs, I can say that I' am indeed poor, and that my colleagues were unquestionably better until...." I will have to leave that quote unfinished, not that I can't answer it, I just don't want to answer any questions of such. Answering it will simply make me jump to conclusions ignoring millions of possibilities that'll counter my thoughts.

Renuel Almonte Fallore, a guy sitting next to me during English class, two silent critics among their classmates, laughing their stomachs out the moment they hear a grammatical mishap, from their brethren. We were both admitted in the same publication; The Mirror as junior contributors. Every time a session is held, we were always asked to write an article about a given issue, and that we are all permitted to do anything that'll enable to enhance our articles.

During Mirror class I always sit next to this buddy for I admit that he is definitely better in terms of writing. I'm not bad, nor am I good, I'm just an average writer using typical words such as; did, do, etc. Back than I was having a hard time exercising my mind and that I always ask my buddy of words, far more appropriate and formal than what I intend to use. This guy has extreme vocabulary powers and that he is a CERTIFIED JOURNALISM MONSTER!

After high school we took different paths; he took UCC and I, in PUP. We have different courses which, on the other hand tackle similar subjects. I really admire journalism a lot and that it only took me a little so-called "INTELLECTUAL MASTURBATION" to realize that writing is indeed my specialty and initiated my passion towards my calling.

So from being a useless little caterpillar which only specializes in oral English, it bloomed into a butterfly; being better each time he flies -better in writing and communicating. My thinking capabilities expanded and took me to new heights. Gates of millions of books were opened, and that my mind actually started to take all the information, causing it to rapidly grow.

My experiences also helped in the betterment of my skills. I can proudly say that I' am much better than before. My endeavors served as scrumptious, vital ingredients for my recipe of success. Obviously this blog of mine is an actual evidence of my improvement.

A few minutes ago, I had a fruit full conversation with this buddy of mine, and boy was he impressed with my accomplishments. Well, I have nothing to brag about because If he was here in my college, he could have reached achievements far more significant than I had.

His really greater than me.... ... ... then..... ...

Now, I really don't know who's better, and I'm not interested to find it out. Friends never argue just because of articles.. duh?! HOW SHALLOW.

Anyway, I'm just glad that I turned to be a good practicing journalist. And that if it weren't for this buddy.. I wouldn't be in this throne.

-end-

metaphor
"IWRITEANDREAD,THEREFOREILIVE