AUTUMN LEAVES IN WINTER TIME

I have always believed that breakups happen mainly because of either of the two reasons: character and infidelity. 

What else could there be? Difference in religious views? DISTANCE? ambition? come to think of it, the phrase "love conquers all" is applicable to all these aspects, of course that is if it's REAL LOVE we're talking about. 

When a person cheats on you, it simply means either a) you're not attractive anymore or b) it was not founded on real love. Spectators doubt second chances while martyrs love unconditionally. Some had partners who managed to change while others failed. A failure that is rooted on a superficial kind of love. 

Character, a change of heart. Sure, he had loved the person, perhaps he still does and he may actually be thinking about you as he is reading this, but why? why did your story end? Was it a drastic change in you?  Maybe you're not the same person he fell in love with, which would explain why, unintentionally, his love for you died. Perhaps you became too complacent and he thought he deserved something better thus, leaving you. 

The thing is, it doesn't really matter whichever reason your ex gave you. Both are unbearably painful. 

That moment when, as if time froze as your screen lit up and in bold, black letters "we're through" appear, your whole world shuts down. Jovial images of you and him swiftly reeled in your head. Your chest tightened as the euphoric memories slither their way underneath your heart, subtly crawling into its crevices, giving you a slow and painful death. 

You lay in bed hugging your knees, your hand, pressed against your lips careful not let those soft sobs awaken your room mates. You look up to the ceiling and through your eyes brimming with tears you, once again, start reliving the moments you have shared. 

You slowly drift away, exhausted from almost an entire night of crying. 

Just moments before you shut your eyes, you question yourself: Am I not worth keeping? Am I not good enough? Sure I had my faults but, what happened to 'together through thick or thin?'.  You question your worth because you know that if it was the other way around, you would stay. 

***

Reasons don't come in plain black and white. We've all had our fair share of heartbreaks but the pain of holding on to the remains of a broken promise; of being left behind, is still incomparable.