VISIONS

were the kisses tender? 





wet? 





passionate?




did he moan lustfully when you were exploring his body with your tongue?





did your eyes roll back when he started stroking your manhood?





did you clench his hair and thrust your hips forward slowly as he took your hardness into his mouth?





were you pleased when you felt your body press against his?





were your fingers entwined... were your eyes locked in each other's gaze when you were on top and slowly penetrating him?





did it feel good?





was it intense?






...naisip mo ba ko habang ginagawa mo yon tulad ng sinabi mo? o naisip mo lang ako bago mangyare at pagkatapos? 






_______________________________________







i'm not gonna lie, masakit parin. masakit, lalo na kapag nakikita ko yung itsura nung lalake. pinatawad ko na siya, matagal na. i just don't know how to free myself from this evil that lurks underneath our blissful love story. Sabi ng friends ko, dapat daw iniwan ko na kasi kung sa kanila nangyare yon iiwanan nila agad. but no, i love him. i can't even fathom how my life is gonna be like without him. kelangan ko lang makahanap ng way to fight these demons.

why did I write this? 

"For us who see writing as a form of escape, it's what we need to purge our thoughts." - Justin P.

THOUGHTS OF A HAPPY MAN

The raindrops trickle on the window pane, my love.

I remember

Long ago, I used to curl up,

hug my knees and feel

a downpour of sadness

that engulfs my soul

and drains all the life that remains



but now

I feel nothing but happiness

and that is because of you.



You may not be my first love

but you are everything to me.

my strength

my joy

my peace of mind

my stability

and thats what matters.

I love you.


________


It's been a while since the last time I wrote.
I didn't have the luxury of time to read books or practice my skill.
For the past years I've written nothing but melancholy.
I somehow mastered the ways of conveying grief.
Happiness is a foreign emotion for me.
Bear with me as I paint new colors in my dull and lifeless page.
I am trying to relearn the craft again.


________


Robert Gabriel, this is for you.