Friday, June 30, 2017
“ikaw ang pag-ibig, sa araw at gabi..."
(You are the love as the sun rises 'til it sets)
My heart recalls
"ikaw ang pag-asang tanglaw sa dilim"
(You are the hope that sheds light in the dark)
In the freezing hostile nights
There I was, carving words of joy
Yet breathing still, unbroken
"napapawi ang hirap at pighati"
(it soothes the difficulty and sorrow)
My heart was frozen
Your love was fire
It purged my soul
Of all its fears and doubts
I felt whole, alive
"langit ang buhay sa tuwing ika'y hahagkan, anong ligaya sa tuwing ika'y mamasdan"
(life is heaven with you, what joy it is to set my eyes on you)
My heart was overjoyed
Love flowed from its veins
And filled its beating chambers
It moved firmly and quietly
I was whole and alive
"sa piling mo, ang gabi'y tila araw, ikaw ang pangarap, ikay lamang"
(with you, the evenings are mornings, you are my dream, you alone.)
In you I find solace
My day and night
My breathtaking sunrise
My tranquil evening sky
With you I have purpose
I am whole and alive
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
They looked at him with inquisitive eyes; waiting for a spark that would illuminate the depths of his soul.
"If you really did love him, why didn't you fight for him? why didn't you beg when he decided to leave?"
He took a deep breath, leaned back and puffed his last cigarette as he veered away and threw his gaze up the starless sky; subtly attempting to recollect the events that transpired about two years ago.
"you know..." he felt a sudden pang in his heart as the words reluctantly escaped his lips -a dull pain which he managed to conceal behind a casual smirk.
"wouldn't it be selfish if you force someone to stay and love you kahit na hindi ka na nila kayang mahalin?"
"kasi diba..." They watched his pupils dilate -a subconscious sign of readiness of love yet through them they saw defeat and emptiness. Love and sorrow -it was a paradox in its cruelest form. "kapag mahal mo, dapat kung saan siya sasaya?"
He noticed the quizzical expression on their faces. "was the feeling suicidal?" They both asked.
In a swift second, he once again plunged into the maggot broth of forlorn memories. "masakit..." He whispered. "na kahit ikamatay ko pa, kung sa paraang iyon ay mabubuhay siya..." he paused and let out an insignificant breath "magpapakamatay na lang ako."
"do you still..." They hesitated. Both of his friends knew the severity of their question
His vigorous love for him has stood the passage of time. It was the kind of love that was silent and self-sacrificing yet unrelenting. The seventh wonder of the world, his sun and moon, the love of his life, his habibi, will never come back and with that he is certain. Be that as it may, he still made an irrevocable decision to keep loving until the last teardrop falls; until the next phase of the moon, until the dying embers in his heart burn out.
He saw the colors of the sun's glow in the horizon; the spectrum it threw at the great divide. The evening had ended in a nostalgic twilight. And through his eyes of perpetual sorrow, he looked at his friends..
"yes, i still do."
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
So that is how it feels like... to hear the person you love weep over the man he had replaced you with.
Like unsharpened knives cutting your heart open, its dull edges prolonging the process inflicting more pain and suffering.
Blood gushes each passing moment, every sob takes the blade deeper.
You stay and endure the ache
just so his heart and soul wouldn't break
His tears eventually lulls him to sleep
and you, you my friend, will be nothing more but a mere sponge who willingly absorbed his burden out of sheer stupidity.