Friday, February 12, 2016

LVD II

"Bakit ka malungkot, lalaki lang yan! There's plenty of fish in the sea!"

"hindi ka na mahal non why are you still depressed? enjoy your single life!"

"ang dami dami jan elijah! you're in dubai! it's easy to replace people here!"

"keep yourself busy!"

"siya nanaman iniisip mo, hindi ka na iniisip non magmove on ka na!"

"please tell me youve moved on na, almost 3 months na oh!"

"tama na yan, teh! tama na lungkot lungkutan!"


SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I am sick and tired of hearing all these nonsense! You think I chose to be depressed? Na pinipili kong mag dwell sa nasira naming relasyon over being happy? TANGINA NYO.

You people do not understand me! Nobody understands! If only ya'll knew what I'm willing to do just so I could start being happy again!

You dont know the feeling of building your whole world around one person, building your dreams and all that garbage only to see it burn before your eyes! 

Hindi nyo ko naiindtindihan!

Alam nyo ba yung pakiramdam na pinupunit yung puso mo habang nakikita mo yung picture nilang ang sweet sweet then you'll think "shit naman, this is the guy who told me he'll never leave... that he cant see himself with another guy... that we'll get married one day."

ANG SAKIT NON PUNYETA NAMAN ALAM NYO BA YON? HINDE!

Every morning when I wake up, I wish na sana mamatay na lang ako. It's so hard to face the day and smile and crack jokes around people while you know that deep down, you're lifeless. 

tangina niyong lahat. hindi niyo alam ang nangyayare saken.



7 comments:

CHRISTIAN said...

i went the same phase. yung feeling na hindi ka nila naiintindihan.
no amount of words could console you.
akala nila arte arte nalang lalo na nakalipas na yung ilang days, weeks, even months. wala naman timeline ang pag move on. so ok lang yan.

i had depressive moods last week of january. for about a week or so i dream about him..literally every night.
the facade and all my efforts trying to suppress my feelings, i surmise my subconscious find its way.

also because of these depressive episodes that i tried to seek professional consult. you know... therapeutic purposes.
if you like you could also do that. or i suggest you might as well spend time to relax, go alone into places or meditate.
mahirap pag depressed ka parati. not only your welfare is affected. also the people and everything else around you.

ang hirap pag sobra ka nagmahal and then suddenly it crushed into pieces. but i know pretty well someday you will eventually find yourself whole again.

shinare ko lang, Elay. thought it might give you some push :-)
take care.

jep buendia said...

kamusta?

oo tama ka, di ka namin maiintindihan ng lubos kasi ikaw lang yung nakakaramdam ng ganyan, although si CHRISTIAN ay nakaka-relate sayo at ako naman ay hindi lols.

sige magpaka-wasak ka, magwala ka, kumain, uminom, mag-enjoy or maghiganti or kahit anung sa tingin mo ay makakatulong sa paggaan ng damdamin mo, magkulong ka sa kwarto etc ganyan :)

sabi kasi ng instructor namin noon sa psychology, yung mga nabo-broken hearted na yan, dapat hindi kino-comfort kasi lalong mas magtatagal ang kanilang wasak na damdamin, kaya ibuhos mo na ng ibuhos hanggang masaid ka.

tapus pag nasa normal na lagay ka na ulit, saka ka makinig sa mga kaibigan mo. so good luck :) isang proseso ang iyong pagdaraanan.

Simon said...

I know where you are coming from.. I used to have that phase but eventually everything will turn out to be ok :)

ELAY said...

thank you Christian, that meant a lot! :)

ELAY said...

makes perfect sense, thank you :)

ELAY said...

I'll keep that in mind, thank you. :)

Robert Gabriel said...

You can call me anytime, Eli.
+1 908 227 2856

I'm here Chamoy...