The waiting in the woods.

The sun came. It was a lively morning for a boy named Eriol. The Birds were chirping and the melodies they were singing brought music to his ears. The bright blue skies with the warm colors of the sun was truly a captivating scene... It's going to be a fantastic day!

He rode his unicorn towards the forest to play with his two bestfriends. Eriol met trolls, goblins, fairies, pixies, dwarves, leprechauns and many more. He played with these strangers while he waits for his two special friends. After a couple of hours, they came, it seems like they just finished partying with their other comrades. Eriol played with his bestfriends like he's never played with them before; sliding on rainbows, smelling the flowers and swinging on trees. Words were inadequate to convey Eriol's joy.

It was late afternoon. The skies were starting to turn dark. He always thought of the evening as a time for bidding goodbyes. Because of that, he held their hands and carved their names on his heart. He wished for the moon to hide itself and for the stars to vanish forever but it was useless. The entire day he spent seemed hours for time was so unnoticeably swift.

"promise me you'll come back, I'll wait for you tomorrow!" These words came spilling out from his mouth just as tears fell from his eyes.

The three have departed as the moon entered the scene. Eriol arrived home smiling for he decided to reminisce and savor the joyful memoirs. He was reluctant to rest his eyes and drift away in deep slumber, he wanted to play with the good ol' times. But just as stories have its endings, so does his day has to end. The carriage that will bring him to another magical realm called dreamland picked him up and went off.

The sun rose. Excitement and happiness were painted on his face as he performed his morning rituals. He felt this impassive bliss as he rushed to the forest. He ignored every impediment, every stranger and even his new friends for he knew that what he's going for was forever.

He waited on the same spot. Hours and hours have passed but there was no trace of his friends. He tried calling his new friends but unfortunately they were found nowhere. All the joy faded. Out of the painted smiles, his faced turned blue... he was all alone.

It was late afternoon when he decided to serach for them. Eriol found his girl bestfriend having fun with her new friends. She heard Eriol's call but it seems like she simply ignored him. Eriol was in tears asking why could he be replaced by someone so new... someone so unfamiliar. He went to his guy bestfriend to share his burdens. It's better to lose one that to lose both he thought.

"Get out of here my so called bestfriend!" Rage attacked and dragged Eriol out of his friend's house. Confusion plauged his mind wondering what could have gone wrong. He was on his knees begging for an explanation but sadly, he was thrown outside the door.

Though the pain was massive, though they took half of his life with them and though it brought Eriol immense torment, he chose not to dwell on it. All those smiles and sunshines were gone. He found himself alone and troubled. Leprechauns, pixies and fairies cared for him and though it was completely different from the "care" his bestfriends used to give, he accepted in anyway.

Eriol went to the forest waiting on that same spot every morning. He's still waiting in anticipation for the return of his friends. He refused to ponder upon thoughts such as letting go and goodbyes.

A Special Chocolate

It was 2am in the morning and his eyes were still glowing and lively! He headed towards the fridge to grab and chew on a couple of goodies to pass the time.

A secret door was unlocked! It was a door of steel that leads to a magical realm of sweets. His eyes were caught by mouth watering delicacies that seemed to entice and bind his entire senses. He knew he'd need all of them! There were different flavors, different sizes and different labels all pleasing to his sight and taste. He simply can't get enough!

As he was indulging himself he noticed something's wrong. A few minutes later, he gained consciousness that his ever so special chocolate was missing. "where could it be?" "where could HE be?". In tears, he went after the chocolate. Hours, Days, weeks, months have passed and still he's nowhere.

The other promising goodies were always there and enjoying his stay in coco land. In return, he gave his time and smiles to them as a token of gratitude. Though he's beginning to get used to the idea of not having his special chocolate, he surely wishes for its return.

...

We always crave for chocolate right? But I guess there will be a special chocolate that will make you ignore the others.

deviation by darkixi

FREE, Day III at the citadel.

Tonight's the last.

The agony wasn't really healed, it was only covered.

Anger was simply preventing the anguish to reach the surface, nothing more nothing less. The jar that contains my tears is overflowing! I was screaming!!! crying for help, crying for company!

"Come young man, let's have a chat"

A familiar man invited me for supper. His voice seems to calm my senses, His eyes were shining with love and compassion and as He hold my hands, I felt true comfort.

"What's the problem?"

At first I was totally reluctant to narrate the incidents by detail. I was completely in cold fury, the anger came like a roaring lion panting for blood! I was afraid to admit that I was hurting for if I find tears flowing from my eyes, I'd pity myself. A few minutes later, I was surprised to see myself transparent before Him. My mouth was singing the entire song.p The words began to convey the entire scene, little by little the picture becomes more vivid. Yes, it was awful to portray it again but there's something in Him that made me open up.

"Why is it when I tend to show unconditional love, people won't do the same for me. Why does it have to be so unfair?"

Tears began to fall

All of a sudden, He embraced me. His arms were wrapped so tight that I'd wish for it to last forever. The soul that was covered in ice and was engulfed in darkness was alive again. As tears kept falling, He whispered: "You don't need anyone to tell you that you're special because in my eyes, you already are." I was speechless. Nothing was left but tears... lots and lots of tears.

I took another glimpse on the mirror. It was a hideous monster! I was a hideous monster! It's time to end this!

...
...

I flew with wings of an eagle... away from the citadel... away for good.

STRONGER. day II at the citadel

If you've been reading my blog lately, you'll know what I'm trying to narrate here.

Taking an evening stroll, I noticed the trees smiling at a very peculiar manner (actually it was more of a grin) the breeze seems to be even more cooler and the voice I mentioned before doesn't bother me anymore. It was breathtaking to walk on the narrow brick road while you feast your eyes on autumn leaves falling from the trees. The moon was up and bright and the stars were just astounding. The environment was a bit odd but it sure is nice.

Buckets and buckets of blood came pouring out of me! After a minute of walking, the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground and bleeding, that captivating portrait turned red! Out of nowhere an arrow suddenly pierced my heart, it was a big shock I didn't see it coming!

"it was from one of my birthday presents" I uttered. I plucked it out and began familiarizing myself with it.

"Damn it! why is it so easy for them to judge me? I am so sick and tired of being accused for something I didn't do!" unbearable and audible words came spilling out from my mouth, words that were the closest to interpret my heart's emotions! I almost drowned for my eyes began to flood with tears.

A huge plague of fire came burning all the anguish away! After the scene, after sweeping the ashes, I stood up with blazing red eyes with tons and tons of unimaginable anger! My heart has been healed by a matter I don't know. I took a glimpse of myself on a mirror floating right next to the pedestal. The mirror was old and made out of gold, it was embedded with floral swirls and is crafted with precious stones. Staring at it surely is captivating.

There I saw a kid with eyes like a phoenix and wings similar to a bat. His heart speaks nothing but anger, VAST anger that can almost cover the skies. It was inconceivable! His stomach craves to devour meat and his soul yearns to burn homes! It's been months since the last time this kid unleashed hell! Again, he found pleasure in immeasurable anger for it is able to terminate all the heartache.

I was desperate to revive the old me, the indestructible, immovable and invulnerable me. There will be a time when even swarms of arrows may come but it will end up shattered, a time when anger will fully consume my spirit and make me totally invincible!

Black Citadel

I was engulfed in thick darkness.

My wings were like broken glass shattered into pieces, I just can't fly my way out of here. The fragrance of the air tingles my spine, the dead trees brought my eyes amazement, the river was ju... wait a minute, I think I've been here before! The sensation the place brought my flesh reminded me of my old home.

As I explore the strangely familiar ruins, my eyes were caught by a striking pedestal. The structure is destroyed yet the crystals that held its power remained, it might be shattered but its essence sure is vivid. Alongside were more pedestals with labels such as envy, hatred, arrogance and so on.

I paused for a second for I felt my spirit weaken. The glacial plinth solidifies my heart and brings torture to my spirit. I continued walking towards the pedestal. Step by step, little by little, I feel my spirit decay but the power the pedestal has draws me nearer, it simply amuses my flesh that it ignores the agony of my soul.

My attention was caught by a small voice that whispered to my ear. The voice was sweet as cherry and is light as a feather, I guess the delight it brought me is what they call PEACE.

"My Son I love you, please don't" The voice whispered

My soul wanted to head back towards the voice but my flesh surpassed my spirit's craving.

THE PEDESTAL IS ALIVE! All of a sudden I felt its power flow through my veins. As I walk away from it, people seem to flee from me, all of them, it's as if I'm some kind of disease! At first it was painful to see the ones I love turn away but as I watch my bitterness burn and my heart turns to steel, all the anguish vanished. Goodness, I can barely feel anything my body is numb all over!

As I stay here wandering around the citadel, I'm not sure of what will happen. I'm uncertain of how many people will stay and will depart from my life but one thing's clear in my mind; The numbness of my body and soul hinders pain from penetrating in my system.

The Happiest Birthday ever woot!

We all get to celebrate our birthdays right?
Want to know how mine went?

Georgette and Leslie went to my house last night (Tuesday, November 16, 10pm) so they can greet me at 12:00am personally. After the warm greeting they went home having our refrigerator EMPTY! A few hours later, I saw myself sleeping with a smile painted on my face.

I woke up with 10 messages from my cellphone. Surely I can't recall all of them but some were from yna, janjan, mama mitch, my cousin aleli etc. Sorry if I forgot the rest but you deserve my thanks for it started my day with colors.

After going to the University of The Philippines Lanter Parade (I didn't finish it) I went to see twilight at sm. After the movie and a little shopping, I went to starbucks for a grande mocha frap and for the next 30 minutes, I sat there reading my book. I guess that would be my "celebration" but you know what's cool? I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!

I went to my bestfriend's house to pick up a cd. I got the item, he uttered his greetings then Imma outta there.

My arrival was GRANDIOSE! It was filled with lots and lots of fireworks!

"Wala ka nanamang naitutulong sa bahay!"
"Hihintayin mo pa ba ang ading mo na maghugas! Maghugas ka na senyorito ka nanaman para kang boarder!"

Goodness gracious what an astounding surprise!

I texted my bestfriend about the party going on in my house, of course the impact of the text wouldn't be complete without a few curses. A few hours later my phone rang, it was a message from him!

"Pards yar badshot ka dito sa bahay. galet na galet si papa nabasa ung text mo na puro mura. di ko na nga nabasa eh. wag ka na raw pumunta dito at wag na rin daw akong lumapit sayo."

As usual, I replied with sarcasm (I thought that it wasn't the right time to be emo and cry) "WOW, that's just what i needed thanks a lot!"

My phone rang again...

"ako pinagtatanggol kita dito tas ikaw. amf! bala ka nga! PANIRA KA TALAGA NG BUHAY"

I paused for a second. I felt a knife stab my heart but when the blade sank in, it was unnoticable. Massive anger took place! Anger not for him but for the circumstances! The heartache vanished as hatred began to explode.. I can barely feel anything!

NOW... let's count my birthday presents.

-ever so loving parents
-dearest bestfriend
-
-

darn it, i only got two. I wonder what will happen this Christmas hahaha.. Happy Birthday to me!

A name that starts with the letter "G"

Despicable behavior, unacceptable attitude, a dreadful image and a horrible outlook towards life define him. Lazy, useless, unreliable, naive, apathetic, ignorant and a handful of negative adjectives elucidate his character. Go ahead and think of the most insensitive person, dress him with a black top, bench boxers, skinny jeans, pony shoes and to top it off, a sony ericsson P900

I guess that is how the crowd portrays this being. They attempt to bring judgment simply by peeking through the windows of his life, unaware of the real deal inside.

A precious, one of the most intricate masterpieces knitted with various gifts and talents, a beautifully crafted specie spiced with different flavors that build up his personality. Intelligent, talented and truly priceless.

While you're reading, he'll turn the lights off, he'll grab your pillow even when you're using it, he won't share his laptop until he's satisfied with what he's doing, he'll call you a plagiarist even when you're not and lastly; he'll call you unusual names you won't imagine. But what makes those awful set of traits pleasant to ones soul? I DON'T KNOW!! It's this impassive bliss, unexplainable, unimaginable. It's that joy difficult to convey.

There are times when he doubts himself. Times when he'd stay in bed wishing to escape from all the life's impediments. strive forward!

Unfold your wings, soar up high in the clouds, reach for the skies.

Believe in yourself

You are special

The Last 'GOODBYE

To The "bestest" bestfriend who will NEVER be replaced.

She can write a whole book about me and I can do the same.When I hear the word love, She appears right in my mind next to God. We have similar heartbeat, similar dreams and similar outlook, other people say we even look alike.She's just everything to me!

She'd write me poems.She'd be at my classroom during recess with snacks on her bag.She'd wait for me until after class and we'd go lunch together.She'd always remind me of taking my meals on time.She'd always call and check on me if I'm doing well.She'd sing to me songs (at kahit ngayon wala pang gumagawa sakin nito ).We'd always see each other after every activity yet she never gets tired of me. We'd talk on the phone for hours and even though she's sleepy, I can still sense her listening ears.She'd always make me feel loved.

She means everything to me.

Last night, I texted her about putting an end to our relationship (bestfriends). She admitted that she cannot bring the old intimacy back for there's this awkwardness between us.

In her text messages she wrote:

"I don't know what to say basta thank you for that precious friendship we had... sana someday makatagpo ka ng isang tao na makakapagpasaya sayo at di ka iiwan. Wag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo, kumain ka lagi sa oras para hindi umatake yung ulcer mo. Godbless. I'll miss everything."

What breaks my heart is that as she bids her goodbye, she still reminded me of how she cared and of how I am valuable to her. No one in my life have ever done such things to me. Though I consider people 'bestfriends NO ONE COULD EVER REPLACE HER.

She means everything to me.How I wish I can hug you once again. I wish we could have taken too many pictures.. so I'll have something to ugghh nevermind

If there will ever be a person able to take her place, I pray that it'll be soon. ILoveYou

Wandering Hearts and painted smiles.

Sitting on the rooftop, dreaming of a perfect Christmas, gazing on the stars, you reluctantly break the door of sealed memories. The cool breeze whispers at your ear, below are the children singing oh can you hear? As the hour passes, memoirs begin to become more vivid as it surfaces your conscious mind. Your eyes feast on shimmering lights that are clothed with diverse colors and shine... one hour of reflection and boom, the past has been dug up from the grave. It's alive and breathing.

The season's ambiance is truly grandiose but what good would it be to a man who finds his heart lost in the cold streets?

Amidst the glacial nights, lovers share their warmth with their ever so precious hugs and kisses. Oh you can almost sense that sweet tenderness in their midst. You'd witness friends uttering words of endearment, not forgetting nor hesitating to convey their love towards their comrades. No one seems to care, no one seems to listen, as long as you're smiling as long as you're laughing the friends you know are found nowhere.

They'd expect you to open up but wouldn't it be nicer if they would just inquire behind those smiles? wouldn't it be astounding if one would express his or her love for you or have someone who's able to notice that behind those painted smiles is the HELL you carry.

A simple yet thoughtful combination of the finest words from that person who's dear to you can surely pick you up from that cold floor of loneliness.

You wait for initiatives... still nothing. It's either your heart has wandered far off, you're just so good at smiling or they simply don't care.

Some people are just so good at pretending they can deceive you about their true condition.

Some just feel more loved when people ask behind their smiles questions fit for sad people.

It's Christmas... show REAL love.

Doors and Walls

If a stranger came at your doorstep
will you open the door and let him in?

You hardly know anything about him
but he sure brings extraordinary excitement.

Your heart's protected by a huge wall made up of lessons
which you have acquired from your dreadful battles.
Wardens of anger, fear and pride exist to defend it from intruders
and sudden flares of emotion.

Indeed you are cautious.
Afraid to get hurt, afraid to cry for the wrong and unworthy person
and mostly, afraid to get vulnerable.

"If I unlock my door, will he stay?"
"If he does, for how long?"
"If he sees the real me, will he accept it?"
"what if he only wants to take a glimpse and not really enter?"

The ever so awful ghost of the past haunts you again. The questions that build up your evening nightmares reappears and inquires for the second time.

Now matter how long you keep this up or avoid it, it's inevitable! There will be a point when you'll have no choice but to come up with a decision.

Be wise.

Pretense.

How far will your sight take you?

Are they able to see through your blinding mask?

No one bothers to ask... No one seems to care... as long as they see you happy, strong and outgoing they wouldn't mind. Sometimes it feels much better if behind all your laughter someone will ask you "are you really okay?". One morning your eyes opened and suddenly your heart felt cold. The warmth, the fire that keeps you alive went out.

You hear your master's voice but you hide yourself because of your shameful face. You can really use a shoulder to pour your heart out right now, unfortunately, no one's there. No one seem to mind at all. It's either they don't care or they don't really know... come on, you're wearing your mask remember?

You can taste your soul long and hunger for your first love... but...

Face the fact!

You can't live all by yourself
This life is not meant to be played individually
Don't depart from the vine!
and lastly...
You can't survive without Him.

It's that choice.

If mind is always over matter, is the mind powerful enough to control the heart?

The bottom line of the situation has always been obvious; the person you love doesn't love you anymore. They say that people always have a choice, a choice whether to be happy or to stay in agony. This might sound weird but have you ever experienced wanting to banish the feelings but then there's something in you that you can't explain and this 'something' stops you from totally letting go? A certain "something" that keeps on pulling your leg, hinders you from being free and stops you from being happy.

You always lie to yourself saying: "I'm ok, she's out of my life" but when your music airs, there seems to be an invisible, invulnerable knife stabbing your heart. How you'd wish that you're numb! You can't deny the fact that you're still affected and that your heart has never been healed completely. When you see lovers enjoying the breeze of Christmas, when you see shimmering lights everywhere, tears begin to fall from your eyes unexpectedly. Come on! you can't even quit yourself from texting her. When she sends a reply, your heart jumps in anticipation! The cup of your heart just overflows with so much aching.

I remember reading Neru's blog and the thought that was embossed in my mind was, "why insist, why persist, when you have alternatives" Well... though there are "alternatives" they may not be as good as the one we desire.

"What is wrong with me?!"
"Why can't I stop this?"
"How long will I wait?!"

Answer? You can!

You just don't want to

You just won't accept the fact.

Remember when you were just a little boy and was given a taste of your first antibiotic? How about your first biogesic(did I spell it right)? It was awful right? the taste? By the time you attempted to swallow it, you spitted it out! Surprisingly, several months have passed and you've been able to get used to it. For a little kid it was an achievement!

It's when you've decided to endure the awful taste to once and for all END intensifying pain.

Your average love life.

It was 2 years ago when I fell in love with my best friend. It was as wonderful as the sun's afterglow with the different colors of the spectrum, words would be inadequate to convey the beauty of the love we had. Surely the risk of having our friendship grow into something more was massive. People say that once the relationship has ended, it's difficult to bring the old times back.

Both of us weren't sure about how our relationship would end, we were just enjoying the cool breeze that encloses us, having love our warmth.

All my life, she's been nothing but the best.

Unfortunately, we broke up, it was because of some reason totally complicated to explain. I could say that breaking up with her would be one of the worst decisions I HAVE EVER MADE. Until now I never really moved on... always wishing that there will be a time when she'll be knocking at the door of my heart again.

We tried to be bestfriends again, calling each other "bez" and sharing details about our lives. She has her new boyfriend and I'm busy with the church's ministries. Though we still keep in touch (like 1 text message in a month) and do regular bestfriend routines, there's something in her or in me that invites an awkward feeling. I believe that there's no hope of having it fixed. Sadly, I have to accept the fact that I lost her.

It think it's deja vu because the same situation seems to occur. I'm scared and bothered because I'm afraid to lose a precious person in my life. *sighs

Having one's friendship grow into something more sure is risky. You should keep on thinking and praying about it because if you push it further you might not be able to handle the consequences.

Are you willing to lose the friendship for the love?

Steering Wheel

God promised to be our greatest provider but sometimes, when people are totally out of cash, they find it difficult to TOTALLY depend on God.

Well, frankly speaking, for other people, it is really difficult to put their trust on a spirit who though promises overflowing blessings still is invisible. If your prayer request doesn't come on time, you become impatient and instead of letting God handle the situation, you begin to take over. Though he told you to quit worrying, day and night you still think of ways of obtaining revenue. You keep on saying: "God, I love you, I trust you" but when the problem strikes, "Lord, hold on a sec, I think I know how to fix it."

When the moon and the stars are up you'll pray: "Lord, please help me, I trust in you" but when the sun shines you'll say: "Lord, I'm feeling strong, I think I can take it from here."

Sometimes, when people aren't deeply inclined to God's word, they tend to take diverse paths. Some will choose immoral ways just to earn money and though the Holy Spirit convicts them, they'll choose not to dwell in it. It's like saying: "Come on, just let me pay my debts and I'll be back at you!"

People fail to realize that God too has emotions. God is always willing and able to help us. Even if we say to him "I trust you" yet is opposite to what we act, it hurts God. I mean, come on, the heart weighs more than the words we utter. Now, when people choose wrong ways of gaining money, it's sin and it automatically separates them from God's love. What hurts in that situation is that though conviction is upon them, they would rather choose money in the expense of God. An object in exchange for God's love? Now go ahead, say "Ouch"

God doesn't always answer prayers. When He says no, it means that He has something better for us because for Him, we deserve nothing but the best.

God is never in a hurry, but He's always on time.

MEMOIRS.

I cleaned my closet this afternoon and saw this poem given to me by a very special person. It seems like it was last summer... a summer morning with the bright sun and various smiles on faces. Everything was just like yesterday.

I guess it's inevitable to have regrets. Letting her go seems to be one of the awful mistakes I have made. Memories are memories, you can have them as long as you'd like, but bear in mind that no matter how long you hold on, there will come a time when the only option left is to let go.

More than wonderful

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit."
-Psalms 34:18

When you're in distress, you seek comfort from your friends. You text them, you call them, you try to use every medium of communication simply to share them your burdens. When they don't return your calls or give you answers you don't want to hear, you harbor bitterness in your heart. When their ears and hearts aren't around you, you pity and condemn yourself.

We often forget the comfort and joy the one above can give us. We reason out "mas maganda pag friends dahil nakikita mo" but the peace God offers is far more different and far more wonderful than the laughter friends can give us. Another reason why unbelievers doubt his presence is because they never tried it.

I can say that the bible is like a compliation of God's promises just like the scripture quoted above. God is a God who never breaks his promise. What he said, he does, what he promised, he fulfills. When he said he'll comfort you... he really means it.

ONE MISSED CALL (horror movie?).. thoughts of a struggling individual.

I was browsing the text messages in my cellphone this morning and I saw so many things that gave me the reason to cry. Awwww..

Cellphones are really handy. I mean, you can text and call people, you can make them feel comfortable when they're all by themselves and most importantly you can share the gospel through this piece of tech. In fact, manufacturers have already developed more function and features for cellular phones. Functions may vary depending upon the user's "trip". There are games, music stores, chat boxes, emails and many more. But who would have thought that this work of science can be a torturing machine?

Yes, it can bring us pain! It's like when you broke up with your girlfriend, moved on, browsed your phone and again felt the agony of yesterday. All those sweet words that once made your heart melt are now breaking it again. You stare at the ceiling and thought: "why am I hurting myself?" you attempted to delete everything but you failed 'coz those are the only memories left. All of a sudden you feel like all the love you have for her that once was lost, is now regenerating. How you wish you can slap all the messages on her face... "Don't you remember any of this?" you wished such because you're hoping that she would care. You're hoping that everything would be back to the way it was before. You kept on browsing the messages, from those tasty, sugar-coated phrases down to the ones where the fight started.

As you peruse the messages you begin to wonder "who started it? was it completely my fault? what must I do to fix this" In tears, you saw your pride conceiving anger and gave birth to something more. You're confused and decided not to remove your grip on your stubborn pride. You knew that it took him so much sincerity and courage to apologize yet you ignored that. "Sorry, that's it?" came out from you...
You saw your fault; you were shocked to see your comrade fleeing from you.
The tables have turned, now, it's YOU who's asking for forgiveness. "What did I do to deserve this?" you uttered. Someone came to the picture and said: "let go, it's not worth it", "NO!! I promised God not to give up" you replied. You kept your mouth shut for 24 hours and began to fix the mess.

It was too late! or is it? you have no idea about it being fixed. You also came to the point where you had no choice but to give up.

After reading, a ball fell on your head and the ball seemed to wake you up. You find yourself laughing... "why am I being bothered by this? I already moved on right? haha"

These kind text messages that are associated with painful memories can simply be one heck of a tool for making us cry. Of course, deleting and completely moving on from the incident depends on the person. Some people are just fond of resenting and likes getting hurt for the ones they love. (guilty!)

Moving on (which includes the deletion of messages) is a choice. The one who left you didn't take that freedom you have. You can always choose to forget about all the painful past. Yes, it's difficult but eventually TIME HEALS EVERYTHING... seriously! You know the reason why it seems so slow for your wound to heal is because you're still scratching it. Leave it alone! focus on other things. Be happy.

Taste your words before you utter.

Anyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone can stand up to it.

You exert effort in fixing a broken relationship while your companion doesn't mind at all. You can't sleep, you can't do your tasks well, yes you smile but deep inside you harbor pain and bitterness. You look at the pictures you stored, pictures that tell your happy memoirs with your friend. You end up crying while your partner enjoys his life. Several days have passed and you still mourn. You keep on shouting "I HAVE LOST MY HALF", "He said he'd never leave! why this?" you thought you've moved on yet you knew that you're kidding yourself. Admit it! you were hoping that he would return. You left your door open but none came.

A couple of days have passed... you feel better... you feel renewed. You realized that he was just too crafty when it comes to words. He was just driven by the waves of emotion... had nothing to say but "YOU'RE IMPORTANT". It was thoughtless! It wasn't heartfelt! It was totally different from what he acts.

More days have passed and now you feel completely better. You try to apply the lesson that you have learned. You inject thoughts in your mind saying that "I'LL NEVER BE LIKE HIM" and that you would be a better friend. To taste your words and make sure it comes from your heart.

BE WISE...
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY, WHO WILL?
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF QUIT FROM BEING A MARTYR, WHO WILL?

You're special.

Astig pag English! -duh

"U may Gad,, madafaka!!! betch..!" All the "dota boys" shouting the same phrase over and over again...

I went to an internet cafe this afternoon just to update my online accounts. As I entered the cafe, I felt uneasy because of the loud voices that seem to swallow the entire room. Meanwhile, curiosity entered my mind as I opened a friend's profile. Her shoutout goes like...

".'+thE lhadY of dOu6z is nOw mOvin6 on.. fUck to oL of thOse fUcking biTchinesS asShoLes BLOODZ!!! aRe u 6onNa fYt!!?? bUt w8.. mAh luV owNs mEh.. nO onE cAn repLaCe him,'+ za n6a dOu6z jaN.. jOin kaU sa grUp kO.."
http://profiles.friendster.com/37411993

AHUH?? So now people evolved in terms of cursing? From the legacy of the "putang ina mo" now comes "fuck", "bitch", "asshole" and many more.

So I went back home and sat on the couch with nothing to do. Bored, I browsed the messages of my brother's cellphone (sorry). I saw a message that says "Join the maddafackah clan... to join pls.. blah... bla" I was like WHOA! children use this kind of language?

They say that as long as you know how to speak in english even if you're just a kid or you're poor, people will never laugh at you. I don't know, maybe because lifestyle is nothing compared to intelligence (you can be a millionaire and still be a dumbass). And, according to most people, the standard of being an intellect is based on the language one is using. On how well you communicate using the english language. I guess some people are just born stupid that they keep on speaking or cursing in english yet they are not able to define the words they are using.

???: elay, pakyu ka ba? mga bobo at pulubi lang ang nagmumura ng "PUTA" what an asshole!
elay: bobo ka ba? nagmumura ka rin noh! iniienglish mo lang!!
(uy peace tau ha. lab u!)

"since it's cool to speak in english, I'll do it... I don't care about the meaning, order of words, the pronunciation or even the grammar, it still sounds cool anyway!"

When one chooses to leave

No one can say: "I had no choice" for in every circumstance we're at, we are given the freedom to select between several options.

A dog is considered man's best friend. As I watched my dog this morning I saw ironies which I can relate. My dog loves to bite things; shoes, flip-flops, umbrellas even the tires of my dad's motorcycle. Every time I saw him ruining my stuff, I'd grab a stick and hit him on the head (pretty evil eh). Unlike other pet lovers, I don't take my dog for a walk because... I don't know... I just don't feel like doing it. Sometimes, when I'm in charge of feeding him laziness will strike me.

My dog sleeps on our porch so when I wash my shoes, water will flood his bed. He ends up soaking yet I never bother to dry him, clean his cage, give him blanket nor show a little TLC.

What struck me is that in spite all the terrible things I've done to him, when I go home he'd still welcome me, licking my pants, my arms, reaching his arm to my bag etc. I end up thinking "after all those nasty things I did, why does he still love me? Truly he doesn't deserve me and he has the freedom to leave. WHY DOES HE KEEP ON WELCOMING ME BACK?"

I tried to place myself on the dog's shoes and thought of a person who I love very much. Images began to clear up until I saw his face...

As I recall all my hardships and sacrifices, his response, the pain he caused me, everything.. I wonder... what is this thing that always kept me praying and caring for him? I ignored the freedom of choice either to be happy or to be in agony. I don't know, I guess I was just focused in giving the best of me.

I guess a time will come when you'll be tired of staying and crying. Maybe it's time to consider the option that most people neglect.

Maybe it's time to leave for good..

Some people are just soo darn good in using words. Words and phrases that can make you feel valued. Lines like "I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU" and "FRIENDS FOREVER" can really turn an intelligent person stupid.

dalawang uri ng tao.

Pag spiritual maturity ang pinaguusapan may dalawang uri ng tao.

UNA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"patutunayan ko sa kanilang mali sila, I will always seek God so that he can mold and teach me more!"



IKALAWA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"ay ganun ah, edi hindi na lang ako magbabago tutal wala naman ng pag-asa.."


Hindi lahat ng tao ma eencourage na magbago sa ganyang uri ng pananalita. There's no such thing as "one size fits all"! There are people who seem to be brave and strong but are vulnerable when it comes to such. People who may seem to care less and are ignorant but with tears that easily fall.

Have you ever had the feeling of striving for something (I don't know... say... change! and that you know you're changing) until all of a sudden a person tells you that you're hopeless; that you're causing other people to fall. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW AWFUL IT FEELS? DO YOU???

I am not pointing out any names here... This goes for everybody.

That's all

Godbless.

Pards.

Where oh, friend is thy true face, the one I used to know,
The one that used to laugh with me, that helped me learn to grow?
Why now have we turned away from all those things we shared,
Can time not leave a simple memory or moment unimpaired?

I always tried to reach out and give you the best part of me,
Now it seems I’ve failed as you turn away from me and flee.
What did I do, how can I make it right, this apparent thing,
Which caused you to throw our closeness away and to sorrow bring.

I am me, that’s all I am, I can’t be anything more,
You liked me this way once, remember that, before you leave my door.
And if you go, I’ll cry for you and all you’ve thrown away,
But through the pain I’ll always wish we could go back to yesterday.

-L.A.K.

An awesome date with God. ^_^

My devotion this morning was totally magnificent!

I have been stressed because of the problems that were straddled on my back these past weeks. After I had my morning devotion, everything (my worries, fears, troubles etc) drifted away. It’s utterly complicated to explicate that the God who controls everything in this world can still find time to spend with me. I am so filled with his love... all I want to do is worship Him all day!

I held on to God’s promise that He will never leave nor forsake me. I am sure that in all my sufferings, He is with me saying: “Let me carry you my child” Also, I believe that there are reasons and lessons to be revealed every time we face such.

On my other blog, a reader deemed that I am as ignorant as blah blah... God vs. No God (just read it, http://elayisametaphor.wordpress.com) I don't know... I was quite sad at first but I don't mind people saying that anymore. I mean, even if they do believe or not, they can never alter the fact that sooner or later they will meet God.

Anyway, right now I'm just filled with the presence of the Holy Ghost. I am overwhelmed with His unfailing love... How I pray that you... yes YOU! can feel this too.


-END-

P.S. I'm currently listening to "we fall down (instrumental)" by Chris Tomlin... Looove it.

PROTECTION OF SOURCES: A LAW OR AN OBLIGATION

This is the introduction I wrote for me and my partner's term paper. It took me about half an hour to put the ideas together.. hindi ko pa xa naiipproofread baka may grmmatical flaw rush kasi eh.. I'm the guy wearin yellow, the guy in red is my partner



At the CoC Library

“Stories do not grow on trees. They have to be wrenched out of reluctant and secretive society.” –Paul foot

News is absolutely essential in a community. It involves the masses; people of all diverse lifestyles and social status. We must accept the fact that news will affect and alter our lives in a certain aspect. The news provokes the listeners, audience and readers to take part and have an opinion towards the issues that matter. it is able to persuade or influence the public in terms of thinking and living. Another fact is that the news helps us to be intact with current occurrences within the premises of the country. Without the facts the news supply us, we will all be living in a world where deception, dishonesty and confusion are inevitable.

Bottom line is, whether we like it or not, we cannot rebuff the fact that news is definitely vital. News must always be certain, accurate, valid, compelling and truthful. The journalist must be able to sustain and support the story he or she wrote. The story is considered invalid if of course, the reporter is incapable of supporting and justifying it.

Let us say that a news reporter is investigating and developing a story about a rape case. Being a responsible newsman, he should never be contented with blotters and other mediums that are obviously shallow. A responsible journalist must uncover and go beyond the shallow details to find deeper sources. Sources or informants are persons who posses important and richly valued knowledge about the particular case.

Sources are indeed fundamental to journalists when it comes to developing a massive, striking, revealing and eye-opening story. Writers tend to avoid limited and narrow truths for such aspects decreases a person’s interest. Therefore, they explore and dig the real content behind the messages.

Sources indeed hold sensitive information (it depends on the situation) that if made known, it can alter the flow of situation. In fact, the validity of an essential truth that may surface will change the society itself. There the impediment begins. I

n intricate situation like these, witnesses are threatened, abused and are harassed by suspects. Because of this they become reluctant to impart their knowledge about the situation, causing it to remain as a mystery.

The confidentiality of a witness is a major issue in interviews especially if the public’s welfare is at stake. Question is; where does the protection of such sources rely: the law or the journalist himself? Laws have been established to ensure the safety of valued informants, but are these decrees to general, to specific or simply useless?

Truth shall always prevail. It is a piece that will complete the puzzle of confusion, A key that will unlock and open a broader and immense perception and a potent agent that will transform the society’s way of stimulating thoughts. Lastly, it is able to destroy, establish or reestablish a founded institution.

The public has the right to be informed especially if their welfare is concerned. But, how will they be aware or gain consciousness if they eye-opener is held back by an abusive superior or person? If we will take another look on a different angle, how will the informant speak up when he or she isn’t confident about his safety as a witness?

The researchers would like to give emphasis and once again mention the puzzling question: Does the protection of witnesses, sources and informants rely on the law, or is it an obligation for the journalist? Both sides have consequences difficult to fathom, they both have fated aspects (both good and bad) that are completely foreseeable. But which of these two have the heavier and deeper side? One must outweigh the other.

8th Month In Blogging

parang wala lang haha.. I've been busy with a lot of things this past week and I hardly have the chance to update my blog..











ME AND GARRY













Of course, my monthly celebration is quite important for me. Last Sunday, I spent it with two of my bestfriends haha.. (Busy kasi ung dalawa pa, isang may tribe at isang may review haha)



ME AND DIAN

FEEDBACK FEEDBACK OH!

"Si Elay suplado", "Si Elay masungit", "Si Elay malakas mambara", "nakakatakot xa kausapin".. These are just the four most common feedback that I've been receiving for the past weeks. I know that there's no reason for me to explain myself about this matter but I think it's getting a little out of hand.

Actually that is the probable reason why I left the ushering ministry(BELIEVE IT OR NOT I WAS ONCE PART OF THAT [can you imagine me smiling at people, shaking their hands politely?]).. I don't know, I guess it isn't my nature to smile at strangers. With the way I stare.. well, God gave me this eyes and I don't know why the heck I look at people like this. You see, people often judge me based on their first impressions. Go ahead and ask my friends, I believe that what they'll say about me will surely contradict the impressions that these people are throwing at me.

To be honest I am not friendly. I don't really care if people don't like me and stuff, I mean the thing is do I like them? But, on the plus side once a person becomes my friend I will value him or her with all my heart. Just so you know, it is totally difficult for me to lose a friend, it's as if a portion or an organ in my body had stopped functioning (that is how precious friends are to me).

One night I texted this guy in our church then, blah blah blah the conversation began. I remember him told me: "ikaw masungit ka raw ah" then I replied "says who", he said: "marami sila eh" ... .. ... after several justifications.. I told him: "I am building a wall not to keep people away but to see who's willing to break it and stay". The funny thing is I used to ignore this guy a lot but now we're always laughing together.

I can name hundreds of people who at first thought I am rude and now they're the ones who totally enjoy my company. Yes I'm frank but not rude.



Bottom line..




Before you judge me, spend time with me first. In knowing me you don't need your eyes what you need is your heart. My heart still has a room for lots of friends, who knows you might be one of them.



-elay.

DIFFICULTY IN UNDERSTANDING THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE -this must be the problem

Pedestrian Crossing, No Jaywalking, No parking, and my favorite: No Vandalism. As a college student, these are the signs I encounter almost everyday, every time I travel. Rules like these may not be as serious as "keep away blah blah volts" but these simple ones help in maintaining peace and order in our society.

During my enrollment, I had the chance to explore the premises of my University together with Amabelle. Our college has its building few blocks from the main building, and because most of our academic affairs take place in our college, we rarely have the chance to roam around the main campus.

I checked out the comfort room right next to the university canteen and boy! it's quite as fancy as SM's haha, though there's this itsy bitsy problem: There were scribbles on its walls.

I believe that the administration didn't lack in any reminder especially the part of prohibiting vandalism. I MEAN DUH, JUST CHECK THE PIC --->

I was disappointed because seeing a scribble like that on a developing comfort room is a sign that one of the students lack in self discipline. I know that the vandal isn't a big deal but the principle of disobedience behind that incident is. I mean, violating a simple rule? (Again I'm not saying that all the activists are like the person who did this). Did the suspect simply ignore the sign just to express his angst towards the government? Wasn't he able to understand plain English? or was he just simply being "pasaway"? If we can't submit to rules as simple as those, how are we going to obey the bigger ones? those that contain larger consequences.

I know that what he wrote really does make sense but the way he expressed it bothers me. How uncivilized! I bet that the University wouldn't reach it's full potential of being developed with students like these.

Right Heart; WRONG PRINCIPLES.

WARNING: This entry might be difficult for unbelievers to understand

I can still remember my first time when I was exposed in this truth, I was shocked of how the bible can relate activists and Antichrists. Activists are those who desire to serve the nation, to fight for complete democracy, to claim fair judgment, fair treatment, and a whole lot more. Antichrists on other hand, are those who completely violate the laws of the bible, and those who practice actions that contradict biblical ethics.

My motive in writing this, is not to convince an activist to let go of his organization. The decision is up to you. My objective is to at least open the eyes of Christians who are involved in forms activism. If you are to browse my previous entries, you will notice other entries pertaining this matter. Hmm.. I guess this is my burden for I used to be an activist as well. By God's mercy, he revealed to me the wrong principles which then, I thought was right.

If we are to look in a rebel's heart, we can see a desire burning in that individual to serve the nation. But what makes an activist an Antichrist?

Let every soul be subject to the GOVERNING AUTHORITIES, For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. -Romans 13:1-2

There are lots and lots of scriptures in the bible, that talk about complete submission. You might say, The president is not a good president, the leader is corrupt, etc etc. Well, it says in the scripture that AUTHORITIES THAT EXIST ARE APPOINTED BY GOD. It doesn't say that the good leaders are the only ones appointed by God, but ALL -even the corrupt ones.

Activism makes us resist the authorities, resisting makes us violate the laws of the bible thus, we become Antichrists. John Bevere said: "What caused Lucifer to fall? Rebellion. What caused Adam to fall? Rebellion.

The only time we disobey authorities is when they are giving us commands that contradict the bible itself.

Activists aren't bad people. In fact, they have the heart to serve the nation. We cannot deny that there is a wrong flow in our society, the irregularities that can be found are those that produce activists. But, if you're a Christian, the choice is still yours whether you obey the law of God, or you stick to the ethics of the society. Whether you like it or not, you have to a stand!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2






If you would love to obtain more knowledge in this matter, I suggest that you purchase the book
UNDERCOVER by John Bevere.
contact me: 09295967492 or 2715115

Times of Testing

UNTIL THE TIME CAME TO FULFILL HIS WORD, THE LORD TESTED JOSEPH'S
CHARACTER. (PSALM 105:19 NLT)

It's hard to watch God blessing other people while you're struggling to get by. But before you throw a strop and say 'it's so unfair!' remember, it's just God's calendar, your time will come. His faith was tested by the massive promises God gave him. You can almost hear the voices in his head whispering: 'I thought your dream said you were supposed to be sitting on a throne. What are you doing sat here in prison then? God doesn't care about you.' But Joseph never gave in to negativity. He held on to those dreams. He knew God doesn't change His mind, so he made sure he didn't change his!

When you follow where God leads you can find yourself in the weirdest places, places that don't always seem like they are going to be good places. But there's always a reason. God told the prophet Elijah to go and hide himself in a dusty ravine by a brook where his only friends were birds (1 Kings 17:3). Only later was the importance of this time revealed.

This time hidden away with God focused him on the challenge ahead, defeating a twisted queen and her evil priests. Listen: 'The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right' (Psalm 84:11 NLT). His delays are not denials. He's never said anything He couldn't back up or promised anything He wouldn't deliver. So try thinking a bit less about your surroundings and a bit more about the Word God has given you!

-EMN.

SCARCED!

It was wednesday night, and we (neil, rachel, mariz, kim, andrew, and me) were discussing spine chilling ghost stories. We started talking around 2 or 3 if im not mistaken, and ended at 8!

Back then I was undergoing MAJOR SHORTAGE! I mean they went to this store to buy something to eat, me, on the other hand stayed at the table having nothing. My money was so exact that i cannot afford to lose even a single centavo, why? cause if I loose any, I won't be able to go home. GRABE!

Fortunately, I was able to reach home safe and sound,, hungry though. ahhahaha


Don't want to experience scarcity again!

Don't just eat..

Don't be like other people who are easily persuaded by the thoughts of whoever is speaking in front. Don't just swallow the food, chew it first. There might be some ingredients dangerous to penetrate in your system.

thoughts from prof jomar canega.

THE IMMEASURABLE STRENGTH.

daaaamn.. With regards to what happened this afternoon, I put all my praises to the PUPians who didn't let any element hinder them from freely quenching their thirst for truth. As a matter of fact, Lozada didn't give the whole truth, it was just a glimpse.

Nowadays, Lozada is the most controversial person . Hearing him speak is unquestionably priceless! The significance of his presence is worth fighting for since personalities like him sustain us light in this dark and cruel world. I mean, THE MAIN GATE, vehicles, security guards, AND EVEN BOMB THREATS.. wouldn't give PUPians fear, for the hope Lozada gives them is too big for any wall of threat to handle.

ALL OF YOU WERE GREAT.. ALL INDIVIDUALS WHO TOOK PART IN THE SEARCH FOR TRUTH.